Don't Panic

I woke up alone this morning.

I hadn't really expected Sini, Kiva or Pax to be in the room, but I hadn't anticipated Skyla being gone too. Concluding that Sini must've come in at some point and got her, my next thought was to wonder why Sini hadn't awakened me. Had I been sleeping so soundly that she didn't want to disturb me, or was it that she simply hadn't bothered to consider I might want to know where Skyla was? I honestly did try to give Sini the benefit of the doubt – I mean, I am a really sound sleeper – but I have to confess that my feelings were still raw from the night before and, even though I tried not to be upset, I still experienced some nebulous bad emotions that I couldn't quite name.

When I discovered Skyla wasn't there, I crawled into bed again and attempted to go back to sleep. I should have known that would be impossible. I really wasn't tired enough to sleep any more, and lying awake in bed really isn't any fun unless you've got someone to snuggle with. Reaching across the space between the bed and bedside table, I touched the button on the top of my alarm clock. The clock's little synthesized voice announced that it was 6:13 a.m. Damn! Why had I awakened so early? And it was the rarest of days too; a Saturday when I wasn't scheduled to work at the store. I groaned.

My phone was next to the clock. I picked it up and, yet again, touched a button to call a synthesized voice to life. My iPhone cheerfully asked, “How may I help you?”

“Call Michael Brightman,” I said.

Michael would be pissed at me for phoning him so early, I suspected, but I needed to talk with someone and he was the only one I really wanted to talk to just then. In response to my command, my phone initiated the call. I could hear it ringing as I waited for my brother to answer. At least my phone pays attention to what I say, I thought bitterly and then immediately felt guilty for such a self-absorbed sentiment.

Michael answered on the fourth ring. I imagined a groggy-sounding greeting. What I got was, “Tyler! Are you okay?”

“What?” I said, caught off guard at the unexpected note of concern in my brother's voice. “I'm fine. I mean...not really, but ...how did you even know it was me?”

“Caller ID,” Michael said. “Seriously, are you okay?”

“More or less,” I said. “I'm not sick or anything.”

“Oh,” he said, all the worry draining instantly from his tone. “Okay. So, if nothing's wrong, then why the hell are you calling me at this god-awful hour?”

“I didn't say nothing was wrong. A lot of things are wrong. It's just not an emergency.”

“So, it could have waited?”

I sighed. “I guess, but I was awake and I needed to talk, so...”

“So you decided to wake me up too.”

“Sorry,” I said. “Anyway, now that we're both awake, do you want to go for breakfast?”

“What? No...hell, no. Josh and I were out last night and I'm totally trashed. I'm pretty sure eating right now would be a really bad idea.”

“Coffee,” I said. “You could meet me for coffee.”

“I could,” Michael conceded, “But that would require dragging my ass out of bed and putting on clothes and...you know, leaving the apartment.”

“I have to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Me and Sini, and...other stuff.”

“Trouble in Paradise?” said my brother in his most snarky tone. “I can't help with that. I suck at relationships, remember?”

“Look, Michael, I'm sorry I said that. You know I didn't mean it.”

“Sure you did, and it's true anyway.”

“I need to see you,” I said. “It's really important.”

“Why can't you just tell me on the phone?” Michael said. “That way, neither one of us has to get up. I know you're still in bed, too.”

“How could you know that?”

“It's six o'clock on a Saturday, isn't it?”

I sighed and rolled onto my back. “Okay, yeah, I'm still in bed. I'd rather talk in person, but if you don't want to get up, I guess we can do this on the phone.”

“Okay,” Michael said. “So, tell me what's so important that you had to call me this early on a Saturday.”

“I slept alone last night,” I said. I just blurted that out and I have no idea why. It was hardly the way I'd intended to start.

To my utter astonishment, Michael laughed. “Oh my God...really? Is that it?”

“What do you mean, is that it?”

“You slept alone. Big deal.”

“It is a big deal and it's not funny!”

“Tyler, are you listening to yourself right now?” Michael said. “Can you hear how freaked out you sound?”

“Maybe I sound freaked out because I am freaked out.”

“Why? Did you and Sini have a fight or something?”

“No,” I said.

“Is there another guy?”

“No.”

“You're not seeing another woman, are you? No, wait...dumb question. Forget I asked that. Is Sini seeing another woman?”

“No!” I said. “If you're not going to take this seriously, I'm hanging up.”

“Hey, I'm taking it seriously. Besides, you called me, remember? I don't care if you hang up. I'm not the one who's apparently desperate to talk.”

“There's a lot going on around here. I need an objective opinion.”

“Because I'm so objective, right?” Michael said, but then he seemed to soften up a little bit and amended, “Listen, why don't you take a deep breath and start over? Tell me what's really going on over there.”

I did take a deep breath. In fact, I had to take a few of them before I tried to continue. Sadly, my second attempt at an explanation of the cause of my distress wasn't any better than my first one. “There are aliens sleeping in our living room!”

“Sini?”

“Yes...but other aliens,” I said. “Sini's brother and Pax's family. They showed up yesterday and the whole place is in a state of chaos...and I...I think Sini is going to leave with them.”

“Oh,” said Michael.

“I don't know what to do.”

“When are they leaving?”

“I don't know.”

“Okay,” Michael said. “I was planning to come over there this evening to see the kids anyway. Can you wait till then for us to talk? Like, they're not going to beam up to their spaceship right after lunch or something, are they?”

“I have no idea,” I said.

“Just...don't panic,” Michael said. “I'll see you later, I promise.”

“Okay,” I said.

I didn't feel all that much better after my conversation with my brother. 'Don't panic' wasn't exactly the advice I'd wanted from him. I'd expected something a bit more substantial. I mean, I could've gotten 'Don't panic' by reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Now that I'm thinking about it, Hitchhiker's Guide might've been the more appropriate source of wisdom in that particular situation anyway. Just then, I thought I could appreciate how Arthur Dent must have felt during his adventures with Ford Prefect. Most of what was happening around me clashed violently with my concept of normalcy, yet the situation was too intimate and tangible for me to deny that it was real.

People from another planet were sleeping in our living room.

It was definitely one of those moments in which I had to decide between going crazy or going with the flow. Go with the flow...for now, said the part of my consciousness that struggles to keep me sane. You can think about losing your mind after you've taken your medication and had breakfast.

Good old voice of reason...what would I do without it?

Concluding that it was pointless to stay in bed any longer and that I'd probably cope better with the day ahead if I had a healthy dose of caffeine coursing through my bloodstream along with my usual cocktail of doctor-prescribed chemicals, I got out from under the blankets and headed for the kitchen.

It was strangely quiet downstairs. I didn't hear any sounds at all from the living room, which could only mean the Erisans were already up and moving...but where were they? The only voices I detected as I approached the kitchen belonged to Pax and Dylan. That didn't surprise me. Dylan is often in charge of breakfast because he's one of our household's habitual early risers. Pax usually gets up early too. He's the quintessential morning person who wakes up fully alert and ready to go.

I am not a morning person. I shuffled into the kitchen and announced my presence with “Coffee, please.”

Dylan laughed. “A little early for you to be out of hibernation, isn't it?”

“Yeah,” I said, rubbing at the kinked muscles in the back of my neck. “Look at me, out of bed before nine o'clock on my day off, and it isn't even because of a screaming baby demanding a diaper change. Ironic, huh?”

Pax made a noise like, “Eeeww!” and fell dramatically to the floor. “Diapers! Gross!”

“I hope you don't do that when you grow up and have kids, Pax,” Dylan said.

“I not going to have any kids,” Pax informed us, and hopped up from his 'faint'. “Or maybe I have kids, but my partners take care of them because I going to fly into space.”

“The man with the plan, eh?” Dylan said.

“Yes,” Pax said. “I the man. That what Xander always says. I the man.”

“I'm not sure Xander is the best role model for your future, Pax,” I said.

“I don't need a model,” Pax said. “I know how to roll already. See?” He dropped to the floor again and, presumably, began to tumble around. “This the way I roll!”

“Nice,” I said.

Dylan was still laughing. “You've got to give him points for effort.”

“Where are Sini and the girls?” I said, deciding it was probably best not to make too much fuss about Pax's obvious showing off.

“Sini and Rommie decided to go out for breakfast,” Dylan said. “They packed up all the kids and went downtown. Rommie said something about Sini needing to have a girl talk, whatever that means. They left around six o'clock.”

At least somebody's having a meaningful conversation with Sini, I thought. I said, “Sini got Skyla up before six o'clock?”

“Depends on what you mean by 'up'. Skyla was pretty much asleep on her feet from what I could tell. Cleo and Jack were ready to go, though. Seriously, those kids take after Rommie. I swear that woman gets up before the crack of dawn every day.”

“Says the guy who's wide awake at this horrendous hour on a Saturday,” I said. “So, where's everybody else?”

“I right here!” Pax said.

Dylan said, “You mean our everybody, or...?”

It being 6:45 on a Saturday morning, I could pretty much predict where 'our everybody' would be. Most of our roommates would be asleep, or at least lying around in bed. Beau would be on Dylan's computer, fighting his dyslexia to write an email to his little brother before going to his job at the supermarket. Hunter would be creeping home from wherever she'd been last night, and should soon be making an appearance in the kitchen to eat up any meat that might be left over from last night's dinner.

I said to Dylan, “Our alien visitors.”

“They're outside,” he said.

“Outside?” If I could have stared at him in shock, I probably would have. As it was, I felt my eyes widen and I think my jaw muscles might've gone a bit slack. “Are you saying we've got four Erisans outside...on Prince Edward Island in the middle of March?”

“Yeah.”

“Are they naked?”

“I'm pretty sure their only flavour is plain. I don't think they've ever heard of all-dressed.”

“You're a real comedian, Dylan,” I said. “Let's just hope none of our neighbours looks out the window and sees them out there. What are they doing, anyway?”

“Playing, I think,” said Dylan.

I crossed the kitchen and went over to the back door. Opening the door a bit, I stuck my head out so I could hear our friends in the yard. I didn't have to strain my ears. Immediately I opened the door I could hear them playing. They were laughing and chirping and making all kinds of other sounds I'd never observed before. Judging by where all the noises were coming from, it sounded as if one of them might be up a tree or maybe on the roof of the garden shed. Another one was squeaking frantically. The squeaks were high-pitched, so I thought that one was probably Suvi, or possibly Jex. The other two seemed to be running around.

I tried to picture the scene; four tall, naked aliens cavorting in the snow, the sharp March breeze making their long hair fly around their heads like flags. I imagined their blue or green skin would be bright – and highly noticeable – against the white snow. Part of me was desperate to be able to see them, but another part of me just wished they'd hustle their green and blue asses back into the house before somebody on our street called the police.

Then, as I stood there listening, it suddenly occurred to me. There was something not quite right about the noises they were making.

Now, before you all start to suggest there's no possible way I could know what are the right noises for Erisans to make, let me try to clarify this. It's not that I thought the noises themselves were wrong, but it was the way they were making them that seemed off. All the sounds were extremely high-pitched, even the ones made by Piri, who I presumed was the one up in the tree or wherever. It might have been my imagination, but I got the impression that our visitors weren't merely excited to see snow. They were frenetic. They seemed agitated, as if they had more energy than they knew what to do with and they had to burn it off as fast and as wildly as they could.

I came back inside and shut the door. Turning toward Dylan, I said, “What's wrong with them?”

“You noticed that.”

“Noticed it? Four grown-up people from a tropical planet are out there running around bare-ass naked in the snow and screaming like little kids who just found out school's cancelled. I'm sure that's not normal.”

Dylan was quiet for several seconds, but finally he said, “They got into the coffee.”

“Sini drinks coffee, but it doesn't make her act like that.”

'Yeah, she drinks it,” Dylan said. “These guys just ate the coffee beans without bothering to grind them and brew them first.”

“Should I be afraid to ask how many coffee beans they ate?”

“Uh...probably,” Dylan said. He placed something in my hand. “This was full yesterday.”

I examined the object Dylan had given me and realized it was a plastic bag. I guessed this was the remains of the large packet of coffee beans Sapphire had bought only last week which, when it was full, had weighed a couple of kilograms. I held the bag out to Dylan. “They ate all these?”

“I said not to!” Pax exclaimed. “I said they supposed to make a drink out of it, but Kiro say he the expert on Earth stuff.”

“Some expert,” Dylan said.

“I tell him that I the expert because I live here,” Pax insisted. “I said if they eat the coffee, they get sick, but nobody listen! Then Dylan came in and nobody listen to him either.”

“Do you think they'll get sick?” I said.

“Probably Jex get sick. He get sick all the time,” Pax said. “Piri says Jex delicate, but Suvi call it something else.”

I didn't really want to explore the dynamics of Pax's parents' relationship, so I said, “If they do get sick, what should we do?”

“Suvi a Healer,” Pax said. “She know what to do.”

“A Healer? Your mother's a doctor?”

“Yes.”

“For people?”

Pax giggled. “That a silly question, Tyler. Of course she a doctor for people.”

“Well, she could be a doctor for animals, like your Grandpa is. I just thought I'd better check.”

“She definitely a doctor for people. She work in a medical centre, and if you have an emergency, you go there. Like, if you fall out of a tree or if you accidentally swallow a rock, she know what to do to fix you.”

“I...see,” I said, making a mighty effort not to laugh.

Dylan wasn't nearly as successful at keeping his amusement to himself. “Pax, how did you accidentally swallow a rock?”

“It was a small rock,” Pax said.

“Yeah...but how?”

Pax sighed. “It a very long story.”

That response only caused Dylan to laugh harder. For my part, I could easily imagine numerous scenarios in which a young child accidentally swallows a rock. If the child in question happened to be anything like my nephew Jack, who is constantly playing in the dirt, swallowing a small rock by accident wouldn't really be outside the realm of possibility.

Neither Dylan nor I asked Pax to elaborate on his rock-swallowing incident. We turned our attention to preparing something for breakfast. I was highly dissatisfied that I had to drink tea with my scrambled eggs and toast but, circumstances being what they were, it wasn't like there was much of a choice.

Our wayward alien visitors found their way inside just as we were clearing the dishes from the table. They were all very cold, and Kiro asked if we could give them some hot water to drink. That seemed like an easy enough request. All of us should know by now, however, that 'simple situation' and 'alien visitor' do not belong in the same sentence.

While I was washing the dishes, and Dylan was boiling water in the kettle and attempting to explain to Kiro where our electricity comes from, Piri got into the cabinets. He discovered Pop-Tarts, which he promptly determined to be “good Earth food!” He shared them with his spouses, who seemed to agree with his assessment of the inherent goodness of toaster pastry. This would have been perfectly okay if they'd each eaten one Pop-Tart, but they didn't limit themselves to one each. Even Pax's frantic decree that, “Too much sugar is bad for you!” – a truly unexpected statement from him – was not enough to deter them. By the time they were done, not only were we a coffee-less household, but we suffered from a distinct lack of Pop-Tarts as well.

I don't think I need to tell you that the end result of our visitors' feasting on coffee beans and Pop-Tarts was not pretty. The crash after a caffeine and sugar high of that magnitude was horrible, to say the least. As Pax had predicted, they got sick. 

 

Suvi and Piri endured it stoically enough, but Kiro and Jex didn't. Kiro moaned and groaned theatrically and, in between bouts of nausea, declared loudly and repeatedly in English that Earth people had tried to kill him. He was getting no sympathy from his sister. When Sini got home and discovered what had happened, she told Kiro in no uncertain terms that it was his own fault he was sick and that he was stupid for not listening to Pax's warning about eating the coffee beans. Kiro responded by groaning, then he announced that he was going to throw up and dashed outside without another word.

For most of the morning Jex lay on the couch, whimpering pitifully. Pax's assessment of the situation was that Jex was in pain and that he was cold, unhappy and scared. This, Pax said, was not an unusual state of affairs as Jex was often ill and always behaved as if he were dying, no matter the mildness or severity of the illness.

“Suvi say Jex not that sick. She say it all just a big game,” Pax concluded. “She say Jex do it for attention.”

If that was Jex's strategy, it was working splendidly. Despite Piri's own obvious discomfort he fussed incessantly over Jex, a fact which seemed to annoy Suvi quite a lot. At one point, as I was passing through the living room, I overheard her talking to them and I certainly didn't need a translator to know she was mad. If the tone of her words wasn't convincing enough, her intimidation noise confirmed it. I don't think her fit of temper had the desired result, though, because Jex started crying and Piri immediately went to comfort him. Suvi let out a growl of frustration and stomped away from them. She commented irritably to me, “They bad. Husbands very bad.”

I wanted to say, Ever ask them how they feel about wives?

I have to admit, I was with Jex and Piri on this one. Sure, they were carrying on a bit melodramatically, but I didn't see any good reason for her to yell at them. They were sick, and everyone knows yelling is not good for sick men. They had each other for moral support in dealing with their wife, though, which was more than I could say for myself. I'm completely on my own in dealing with mine.

What I actually said to Suvi was, “Do you need anything? Can I help you?”

“Help?” she echoed, sounding incredulous. “You make husbands sick. You no help.”

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “I wasn't the rocket scientist who told them it was okay to eat two kilograms of coffee beans and then roll around naked in the snow. You can blame Kiro for that.”

“Kiro bad,” Suvi judged. “Earth bad. It all bad. We go ship. It all good.”

“You didn't have to come here, you know. You can go back to your ship any time you want.”

She didn't reply for several seconds, and I wondered if she'd understood even half my words. At length she said, “Pax here. We come.”

“Yeah. Well, as long as you don't–” I began, but stopped just short of saying aloud what had sprung into my mind. Yeah, it's fine that you're here, and it'll continue to be fine as long as you don't fly off with Pax and Sini and my girls.

It was unfair of me to think that, I know. Pax really belongs with his parents, among his own people. He needs things that we can't give him, and it would be totally selfish for me to expect his parents to leave him here just because I love him and would miss him if he left. Still, the idea of letting Pax go is just as awful for me as the thought of Sini leaving.

The silence between Suvi and I became a little awkward as it stretched into several seconds. I'd almost made up my mind to excuse myself and walk away when she spoke.

“I feel...you afraid,” she said.

“Yeah, I guess,” I said.

Then she touched me, something she'd declined to do yesterday even though I'd given my permission for her to do it. She traced her fingertips gently down the side of my face, and her skin against mine felt dry and cool, just like like Pax's and Sini's. “Your mind like Erisan mind.”

“I don't understand,” I said.

“I feel you,” she said. “No feel others.”

“You can feel me, but you can't feel other Earth people?”

“Yes. Sini and Kiro same.”

“Pax and Piri can feel me too,” I said. “And Jex can feel me, can't he?”

“You different,” she said. “Piri and Pax strong. They feel all people. Erisan people only feel Erisan, but you different.”

“Pax and Piri can feel all Earth people but you can only feel me, and you're saying most Erisans are like you?” I struggled to interpret what she was trying to tell me. “You're saying that you and Kiro and Sini can feel me because it is me who's different?”

“Yes,” Suvi said, although I'm not sure she fully comprehended what she was saying 'yes' to.

“How am I different than other Earth people?” I asked.

She made a sound of frustration. “I no words,” she said. “Ask Sini. She tell.”

“Okay,” I said.

I have to say, I was highly intrigued by the notion that it was something unusual about me that made Sini able to sense my feelings. I'd never imagined myself as someone with an unusual mind, and I couldn't even begin to guess what actually made my mind different from the mind of any other average Earth person, but I was definitely curious to find out. Hopefully, Sini would be able to tell me. She'd never mentioned anything about it before, and I'd always assumed she could read my emotions by virtue of our close bond. I'll confess I felt just a little let down to learn that wasn't the case, because I really like the idea of our relationship being unique and special, but my disappointment did not in any way outmatch my desire to understand what was really going on.

It was only after the sound of Suvi shuffling her bare feet on the hardwood floor alerted me to the fact she was still standing in front of me that I realized I'd gotten lost in my own thoughts. I wondered if Suvi was waiting for me to continue our conversation or if perhaps she needed something.

Taking a guess that she wasn't really interested in talking with me any more, I said. “Suvi, what do you need?”

She seemed to be deliberating for several seconds, but then she replied. “Water.”

“You want water? Okay. I can do that. Come with me.”

She followed me out to the kitchen and hovered at my elbow while I filled a large glass with water. She was fascinated by the process, although I couldn't imagine why. Eris is a technologically advanced world, and I know from what Sini has told me that indoor plumbing is just as commonplace for them as it is for us. I wanted to ask Suvi why she was so curious about my filling a glass with tap water, but I knew I'd just confuse her if I did, so I kept my own curiosity to myself.

I put one of Pax's bendy straws in the glass. Piri had been pretty excited about those at dinner last night, and had demanded to know the English word for them. He'd repeated it over and over until he got it right. It was a challenge for him because the Erisan language doesn't have blended consonants and Piri, by his own admission, hasn't got much aptitude for languages. His explanation of this – “I learn bad words” – lost a lot in translation, but Pax helped me figure out what his father had been trying to say. Piri learned quite a few new words last night despite his linguistic shortcomings, including the names of most of the vegetables that we served, the names of various articles of clothing and, most notably, how to say piano.

I have to grin when I think about Piri's reaction to my piano. At first he seemed a little afraid of it, but once Pax helped me explain to him that it's a musical instrument, he became very animated and insisted that I show him how it works. I played a few scales for him and he was able to repeat what I'd done with little effort. Then, he wanted me to play an Earth song for him. The song I chose isn't particularly difficult, but I think it's lovely, and it reminds me of the first time Sini described the sunrise for me.

When I was done, Pax clapped appreciatively. He said Piri should have a turn at the keyboard, and I agreed, mostly because I wanted to see what would happen. To my utter astonishment, Piri began to play something that sounded remarkably close to In The Morning Light, the song I'd just finished. After that, no one could get him away from the piano. His aptitude for languages may not be great but his ear for music is totally off the charts. Once he'd gone up and down the keyboard a few times and worked out which keys produce which notes, he was able to play very simple but nevertheless lovely renditions of several melodies from his world. Most of them were unfamiliar to me but I did recognize a few, including Kiva Anoa, the Erisan love song for which my younger daughter is named.

At one point Piri had started singing along with his own accompaniment, which occasioned much chirping on the part of Suvi and Pax. With his wife and son beside him Piri started the song over again, and the three of them sang together in exquisite three-part harmony. I didn't understand any of the words, but the sound was beautiful.

By the time they were done, Sini and Kiro were crying. Even Jex, who could not hear the music, was weeping. Jex must've been signing something because I overheard Kiro comment to somebody, “Jex says they are overflowing with love and joy. He says they have not only found the missing part of their trio but they have also found the missing piece of their souls.”

That should've made me happy, but it didn't. All it did was make me feel even more miserable as I thought about how much Pax has woven his way into the metaphorical fabric of my soul. Suvi and Piri may have regained the third part of their trio, but where did that leave me? I tried not to think about it, but you know how that goes. The harder you try not to think about something, the more you think about it.

But, I digress. I was telling you about my encounter with Suvi.

I gave her the glass of water and then followed her back to the living room. Suvi spoke to Piri and Jex in their language and it sounded like maybe she was apologizing to them. It was kind of hard to tell, but Piri's reply sounded contrite. Maybe he was apologizing too. I imagined the conversation consisted of her saying that she was sorry for losing her temper and that he was sorry for being a pain in the ass, but she had to understand that he wasn't feeling well and she must know by now how he gets when he's ill. She responded with some variation of the non-word sound that I refer to as 'comfort clicks'. Maybe that was, I know. Let me see if I can make it better.

It was apparent Suvi couldn't get Jex to drink anything but, after a little coaxing, Piri drank some water. I could hear him slurping it, and I guessed he must've placed the straw just beneath the surface of the water to produce that noise. Obviously, he'd learned that trick from Pax last night. One of Pax's favourite ways to get a rise out of people at the dinner table is to make slurping noises with his straw. We've stopped asking him not to do it. The only way to make him stop is to pretend it doesn't annoy us at all. Reverse psychology, you know?

Suvi finished off the water herself and gave the empty glass back to me. She said, “Thank you,” and Piri echoed the sentiment.

Sometime after noon they all fell asleep, Jex and Piri on the couch, Suvi curled into a beanbag chair nearby and Kiro sprawled in the middle of the living room floor with one of the throw pillows from the couch under his head. Sini described the whole scene to me in a tone of disgust. She finished off by saying that her compatriots looked like a bunch of students passed out after attending an all-night party and having chewed too much of something called hazha root. When I asked her what that was, she said it's a plant-based intoxicant. According to her, hazha is a recreational drug used by pretty much all adult Erisans and, from what she told me, I gathered that it makes people feel uninhibited and overly confident and just plain awesome. She explained that if it's overused, however, users can hallucinate or become ill. The aftereffects of too much hazha make you feel like you've been bashed over the head with a big stick, your eyeballs enlarged to the point where they no longer comfortably fit your eye sockets, and your mouth filled with ashes from the previous night's bonfire.

“Are you speaking from personal experience?” I said.

She didn't seem amused and told me that it was none of my business. That sounded to me like the response of someone who'd suffered one too many hazha-induced hangovers and was none too proud of her youthful indiscretions. I didn't pursue the topic any further but, in some weird way, it was kind of reassuring to know that Erisans are prone to the same weaknesses as we are. I could just picture that wild Erisan party, beautiful blue and green bodies dancing next to a roaring fire, everyone high on hazha root and ready to do unspeakably reckless and pleasurable things. Sex and drugs and...it suddenly occurred to me that I've never asked Sini if Eris has a version of rock-n-roll.

When they woke up in the late afternoon, our guests all seemed to have recovered to varying degrees. Kiro crept out to the kitchen and asked for water. It was Remi's night to cook dinner, and I was hanging out with him while he worked at it. Remi got a glass of water for Kiro and he sat down on the floor to drink it. He volunteered that he didn't have an upset stomach any more, but that he was sore all over. I wasn't surprised.

The next one to turn up in the kitchen was Piri. He seemed pretty much fully recovered and even told us that he was hungry. Okay, what he actually said was, “I eat?” but we got the general idea. Remi gave him a carrot and a potato, and slowly articulated the name of each. Piri got pretty excited over the potato and even managed a small chirp. When I asked Kiro about that, he explained that the potato looks like a common Erisan staple vegetable called, coincidentally enough, pato. Apparently, pato is much larger than our potatoes, but Kiro's description of it gave me the impression the two vegetables are more or less the same, at least in shape and colour.

With Kiro's help, Piri asked us if we could cook the potato for him. I poked some holes in it with a fork and put it in the microwave which, predictably, became another focal point of fascination. Unfortunately, I couldn't really explain how the microwave works. I said he'd have to ask Sini about it later.

Piri sat on the floor next to Kiro and nibbled his carrot while his potato was baking. It wasn't hard to tell from which parent Pax had inherited his insatiable curiosity and his enthusiasm for life. I listened to Piri chattering away in the tone of a small boy at Canada's Wonderland and found myself amazed that he seemed none the worse for wear after that morning's adventure. Not for the first time, I wished that I shared the Erisans' empathic sense. I would've loved to know what was going though Piri's mind.

Knowing what was going on in Kiro's head wasn't difficult to figure out. The more Piri talked, the more irritated Kiro became.  In the middle of Piri's monologue, Kiro exclaimed in English, “Shut up! I do not care about stupid Earth technology!”

“What's the matter, Kiro?” I said, even though it was fairly obvious at that point.

“He is acting like a child at his first street market, and it is annoying me.”

“Now, there's some irony for you,” I said.

“I do not recall asking for your input.”

“I didn't ask for yours yesterday, but I got it anyway, didn't I? Now you know how it feels.”

“It feels like you are enjoying it.”

“Possibly,” I said. “Come on. Cut the guy some slack. He's excited about being on a new planet. I seem to recall you were excited yesterday.”

“That was before you tried to kill us with your dangerous Earth food.”

“Coffee beans are not food,” I reminded him. “And Pax did try to warn you.”

“Details,” Kiro said.

“Important details. If a stranger was visiting your world and you told him not to eat a poisonous plant, would you expect him to do it anyway?”

“That is ridiculous. I would expect him to trust my experience.”

“Pax has been here a while and he knows that eating two kilograms of coffee beans is dangerous.”

Kiro made a disgruntled noise. “You reason like an Interpreter of the Law.”

“A lawyer?” Remi said from his place at the counter. “Check it out, Tyler. He's only been here one day and he's already got you pegged.”

I said, “Guilty as charged.”

“You are an Interpreter of the Law?” Kiro asked. “A...lawyer?”

“Not until I finish school, but yeah. That's what I'm going to be.”

“My condolences.”

Remi laughed at that, and so did I. Remi said, “I guess there are some universal constants.”

“I guess so,” I agreed. “Lawyers: reviled everywhere in the known universe.”

Piri interjected then, with what was clearly a question delivered in a tone that had a distinct whine in it. My off-the-cuff interpretation was, What's so funny? I hoped he didn't think we were laughing at him. Fortunately, Kiro intervened with a translation of what we'd been saying and, once Piri understood, he laughed too.  

Piri started to say something in response to Kiro, but in the middle of his sentence he got distracted by the beeping of the microwave announcing that his potato was done.  He let out a chirp that could've rivalled one of Pax's in his most hyper moment.  I heard him scramble to his feet and trot across the room.  He got to the microwave before Remi did, and he must have snatched his potato from the oven with his bare hands because the next thing I heard was a yelp of pain and then something hitting the floor.  

Kiro sighed.  “It is difficult to believe they let him be in charge of an entire starship.

“Is Piri really in charge of your starship?” I asked.

“Not this time,” Kiro said. “He is a captain, but I think our government believed it would not be good for him to be in charge this time. Taro Vik commands this mission. He is Piri's friend.”

“And he's okay with you guys being down here for over twenty-four hours?”

“What is the Earth phrase? We have...checked in. Captain Taro knows we will come back to the ship tomorrow at this time.”

And there it was.  Just like that, I learned that in twenty-four hours I'd more than likely be saying goodbye to Pax.   Would I also be saying it to Sini and my daughters?  Michael's advice from that morning echoed in my head: Don't panic.  

Yeah.  Easier said than done.   

My Brother-In-Law Is From Outer Space

Kiva is six weeks old today!  I can hardly believe how quickly the last six weeks have gone by. Here it is, nearly the end of March already, and I haven't shared any news with you guys at all since the day Kiva was born. Well, I'm going to remedy that right now, because I've got some absolutely huge news to tell you. I can't exactly say it's good news – at least not from my perspective – but I can definitely say it's significant.

Let me do the quick household update first, though, okay? I'm sure you guys will want to know what's going on with Rommie and Michael these days, especially since the news is good. Michael finally agreed that he and Rommie should attend couples' counselling. The entire household breathed a collective sigh of relief when we found out about that. We all really want them to work things out, mainly for them but also for us. The tension around here when Michael came over to see his kids was getting unbearable.

Personally, I think our parents might've had something to do with convincing Michael that the only way to fix things is to get professional help. In the long run, though, it doesn't really matter how he came to the decision. The important thing is that he's willing to try and make the situation better.

On the subject of our parents, they came for a visit just after Kiva was born. They were here to meet Kiva, of course, but their real purpose in coming was so that they could take Skyla and Pax back to the country with them for an extended stay. My mother's idea was for Sini and me to be able to focus on Kiva without having to worry about the demands of our other kids. I have to say, it was great to be able to do that. I missed Pax and Skyla like crazy all the time they were gone but, looking back on it, I think following Mum's plan was in everyone's best interests.

Pax and Skyla came home last weekend. Skyla is unimpressed by her baby sister, to say the least, but Pax is just as much in love with her as he was on the day she was born. Now that we've got Kiva's routine established, it's easier for us to let Pax help us take care of her. He loves doing things for her, although there's some stuff which he maintains is not in his job description. For instance, he's totally grossed out by the reality of diaper-changing and there's no way we'll ever convince him to help with the actual changing part, but he's great at fetching things like baby powder and wet wipes. Pax loves to dress his baby sister. He's utterly fascinated by how small her clothes are and is particularly enamoured of her tiny socks. Yesterday, Pax learned how to give Kiva a bath. We'd never let him do that unsupervised, but Sini and I both think he should be allowed to help as much as he wants to, as long as one of us is there to keep an eye on things.

One might think that the highlight of yesterday was Pax's adventure in baby washing and, if yesterday had been an average day, that probably would have been the high point. As I'm sure you've figured out by now, however, I'm about to tell you that yesterday was not an average day.

Oh, it started out normally enough. We all got up and had breakfast, and then Pax played with Skyla while Sini fed Kiva and I got ready for school. Sini seemed a little restless and I thought Pax was a little more energetic than usual, but I just chalked that up to the bad weather and their inability to get out of the house for a few days. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined it to be a forerunner of a Big Event. But it was. Little did I realize that Pax's and Sini's unusual moods were really the first sign of the biggest Big Event ever.

The day proceeded fairly typically once I'd left for campus. Sini called me at lunchtime to say that she wanted me to pick up more diapers and some apple juice on my way home, and then Pax got on the phone to tell me all about Kiva's bath and that he'd dressed her all by himself afterwards. I only had one afternoon class because the later afternoon one had been cancelled, so I said I'd be home around two o'clock. We all exchanged goodbyes, and I went off to my class.

It was after class that things got crazy.

I arrived home with the items Sini had asked for, anticipating nothing other than the usual welcoming reception from my wife.  However, the welcoming committee turned out to be Beau who came clattering down the front steps and intercepted me before I ever set foot inside the house.

"Hey, Beau," I said.  "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"How'd you know it was me?" he said. "It's downright scary how you do that. I didn't even say anything yet, and you knew."

"Cowboy boots.  If you wore different shoes, you might be able to trick me."

"I doubt that."

I laughed. "Maybe you can work on it."

"Yeah," Beau said.  

I could hear him shuffling his boots on the sidewalk in a way that usually signalled either impatience or mental discomfort.  I said, "Are you in a hurry to be somewhere?"

"Sorta," he said. "Honestly, I'm kinda in a hurry not to be here."

"Did something happen?  You and Georgia didn't have a fight, did you?"

"No, it's nothin' like that.  Me and Georgia are fine, but...I guess you could say somethin' happened around here all right. It's...uh...kinda crazy in the house right now.  You might not wanna go in."

"What do you mean?  Why wouldn't I want to go in?"  

"Okay, maybe you do want to go in, but there's somethin' you should know first."

"Okay," I said.  "What is it?"

“Well...” he began, but then paused to take in a huge, audible breath before plunging ahead with, “The house is plum full-up with folks from outer space, and every single one of 'em is naked as a jaybird, and they're all chirpin' and talkin' their funny language and...and I think they're fixin' to eat up all the popcorn and chips in the place.”

That was, quite possibly, the largest number of words I'd ever heard my friend Beau Ransom string together at one time. As if the shock of hearing Beau make such a speech wasn't enough, the actual content of his announcement was the thing that really blew my mind. It took me several seconds to process everything he'd said. Finally, I managed, “People...from outer space?”

“Yeah,” Beau said.

I don't know why I felt so shocked. I mean, I live with people from another planet after all, and we always knew it was a possibility that more people from their world might return for them some day. Maybe it was the part about the place being 'plum full-up' that got me. How many aliens does it take to make a house 'plum full-up' with them?

“People like Sini and Pax?” I asked, just to be sure. I've learned from experience that it's never a good idea to assume anything, especially where aliens are involved.

“Yeah. I think they might be Pax's relations, come to fetch him home. Oh...and there's a blue one, and he speaks English, and he...uh...was wearin' one of Sapphire's big mixin' bowls on his head when I left.”

“Sounds like a party,” I said.

“That's one way of puttin' it.”

“How many of them are there?”

“Four,” Beau said. “There's three men and a lady. Well, there's six if you count Sini and Pax. The biggest green one, I think he's in charge 'cause he's actin' all official, like maybe he wants us to take him to our leader.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. It's like an invasion from outer space or somethin'. You know, like in the movies.”

“Did you say they were chirping?”

“They're all makin' that sound Pax makes when somebody gives him candy.”

Definitely not a threat, I decided. In my admittedly limited experience, I've observed that Erisans only chirp when they're excited or happy about something. Pax does chirp for candy. He also chirps about trips to the mall, french fries with ketchup, socks fresh from the dryer, and meeting his friends at the park to play soccer. Sini most frequently chirps for reasons I probably shouldn't talk about on the internet. They make entirely different noises when they're angry or trying to intimidate someone. I've heard Sini use her intimidation noise on Michael quite a few times, and I've been on the receiving end of it once or twice myself. Anyway, four chirping Erisans did not, in my opinion, seem likely to be an invasion force from outer space.

“I'd better see what's going on,” I said.

“Good luck with that,” said Beau. “I'm gonna meet Georgia at her work and hang out there for a while for some...uh...normal conversation. No offense, but...y'know...”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, even though I didn't really. Beau seemed pretty anxious to leave and I couldn't tell if he was scared, confused, or just plain freaked out by the exponential increase of bodies in the house. Lamely, I said, “Tell Georgia hello from me.”

“Yeah,” Beau said, and retreated hastily down the street without another word.

I entered the house to discover a general party atmosphere. The air was filled with the scent of microwave popcorn. There was indeed a lot of chirping going on and a lot of talking in both Erisan and English. I made my way to the kitchen where most of the activity seemed to be concentrated. Judging by the noise level alone, I would've guessed there were a lot more than six people in the kitchen. Most of the voices were unfamiliar to me but I did manage to pick out Sini's voice. I set down my shopping bags at the threshold between the hallway and kitchen, and then advanced a little further toward the noisy group.

“Sini!” I called into the din.

I expected her to come over to me, or at least to call out my name in response so I'd know she was there. She didn't approach me, but someone else did, and by the time I realized it wasn't her I had no time to do anything but stand there and be surprised.

“Brother!” crowed an exuberant voice. Then, someone who was most assuredly not my brother threw his arms around me in an embrace far too intimate for strangers, and greeted me with a kiss. On the mouth. It was a quick closed-lip kiss, but that wasn't the the point. The perpetrator was conspicuously naked and unquestionably male and, as you guys know, that's not the direction in which I swing.

I struggled away from the stranger, pushing him from me even as I stumbled backward. I gasped out, “What the hell...?”

“You are Tyler?” said the man.

“Yeah, I'm Tyler. Who the hell are you?”

“Sini described you perfectly,” he said, nonchalant as you please. His English was flawless but his inflection was a lot like Sini's. “I am sorry we did not call ahead, but your telecommunications are incompatible with ours. We hope we are not imposing.”

“Imposing?” I blurted. “Imposing? Who the hell are you, and what's going on around here?”

“You are angry,” said the man.

“What gave you the first clue?”

“I...can feel you,” he said, sounding somewhat surprised, as if he'd just then realized what he was capable of. “I feel your anger. We believed we could not do this. It is an amazing discovery!”

“How would you like to discover a good swift kick in the–”

“Tyler!” Finally, there was Sini, appearing at my side and catching me by the hand. “I can feel you too, do not forget. You must be nice to your brother-in-law.”

“Brother-in-law?”

“This is Kiro Taz,” she said. “My brother. In Earth culture, this makes him your brother-in-law, does it not?”

“Uh...yeah.”

“We are bonded, so in Erisan culture he is now your brother as well.”

“Great. As if having one crazy brother wasn't enough?”

“You have a crazy brother?” Kiro asked. “Is he really insane?”

“No. Michael is not insane.”

“Is he pretty like you? Can I meet him?”

“He's married,” I said, and thereafter did my best to ignore my newly acquired and immensely annoying brother-in-law.  “Sini, seriously, what's going on around here?”

“Our people have come to rescue us,” Sini informed me, and then chirped a few times, evidently just to make sure I knew she was excited. “Is it not wonderful news?”

“But, you don't need to be rescued,” I said, feeling dumbfounded.

“I know that, but they did not,” Sini said. “Oh, Tyler...it is miraculous! Captain Piri is alive and he convinced our government that Pax and I were alive too, and a ship has finally come for us. They say you and Skyla and Kiva can come with us too.”

“Come with you?”

“To our world,” she said.

“Hang on. You're leaving? Don't you think we should talk about this?”

“Yes, we will talk about it. There is time. Kiro and the others are going to stay here tonight.”

“Here, as in here in the house? Sapphire's going to love that.”

“We would sleep outside, but it is too cold,” Kiro said.

“I didn't expect you to sleep outside, but I presume there's a spaceship or something, right?”

Kiro laughed. “Of course there is a ship, but would you not wish to spend the night if you landed on a new planet for the first time?”

“I don't know. I've only ever been on this planet.”

“More's the pity,” said my brother-in-law, and then added proudly. “I have used an Earth expression! Am I not...totally awesome?”

“Uh...” I said.

“I am cool like that,” Kiro said. “It is the way I roll.”

Before I had a chance to make any kind of comment on my brother-in-law's self-declared awesomeness, Sini pulled at my hand and said, “Come and meet the others. Captain Piri really wants to meet you.”

Any excuse to get away from Kiro Taz, I thought and then instantly felt guilty. I didn't know the guy. It was unfair to decide I didn't like him after only five minutes in his presence. Of course, he had managed to push a great many of my metaphorical buttons during that five minutes, but still... My conscience reminded me that first impressions aren't everything and, after all, Kiro was standing among strangers on a planet that was entirely new to him. I might not make such a great first impression either if I were visiting an alien world.

I allowed Sini to lead me across the room where it seemed that most of our guests were gathered near the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. My ears caught the unmistakeable rustling of chip bags and a lot of crunching noises. The popcorn smell was strongest over there as well. Beau was right. These guys really did seem to be enjoying our snack foods, and I didn't doubt that they were capable, as Beau had surmised, of eating up all the chips and popcorn in the place.

I was able to pick out four distinct voices, one of which belonged to Pax. Three of the four, including Pax, were speaking Erisan. The fourth just seemed to be making random squeaks and chirps that didn't sound quite...normal. I don't know how I knew that, but something about the fourth Erisan voice seemed odd to me.

I didn't get to contemplate it for very long because I suddenly found myself having to brace for impact as Pax jumped up from his place on the floor with the other Erisans and launched himself at me. I caught him in an awkward hug. He chirped repeatedly and he was trembling all over.

“Take it easy, buddy,” I admonished him. “You know you're too big to tackle me like that.”

“Tyler! My family came!” he practically shouted, completely ignoring my gentle scolding. “I so happy!”

“Inside v–” I began and then thought, to hell with it. Our kitchen was full of alien visitors and I was worried about Pax raising his voice in the house? I shrugged and then settled on, “I can feel you being happy.”

“We has lots of good energy around here today!”

“I can tell. Will you introduce me to your family?”

“Yes!” He released me from his dangerously enthusiastic embrace. Then he grabbed my hand and tugged me down so that I ended up kneeling. I supposed that was only logical since it seemed that everyone else was sitting on the floor.

I said, “Be careful, Pax.”

“Sorry,” he said, but he didn't seem the least bit contrite. He let go my hand and I guessed he was pointing as he introduced his parents. “This Suvi. She my mother. Piri, my father, and Jex, my other father.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said, because I couldn't think of anything else.

Pax laughed, and I felt his fingers come to rest on my forearm. "This Tyler," he said, presumably to his three parents. "He my other other father."

"Do any of you speak English?" I asked.

None of them had the opportunity to answer as Pax piped up. "Yes! Piri and Suvi speak a little. Piri say they learned it on the ship.”

“I think Captain Piri knows the most,” Sini said from behind me. “I was teaching him...before.”

Before, as in Piri's first voyage to our solar system, before the disastrous events that left Pax and Sini stranded on an alien planet with the belief that Piri and all their other shipmates were lost to them forever. Sini and Pax don't like to talk about that. Even at that moment, with Captain Piri alive and whole in front of them, it seemed that Sini couldn't bring herself to make more than a vague reference to it.

I couldn't blame her, really. There was no way I could even begin to imagine what it must've been like for her to think that she was all alone in a strange and virtually unknown place with no hope of ever seeing her people again. Now, to have four of them here in our kitchen with who knows how many others in a ship somewhere relatively near, must've made the years she'd been on our world seem like a surreal dream to her. I know that's probably what I'd be thinking if I were hopelessly lost and then somebody I thought was dead suddenly appeared and promised to take me home.

The whole thing was enough to make my head spin. It was far too much to process then and there, so I decided the best thing to do was to try and focus only on what was happening in the moment. Captain Piri wanted to meet me. Sini and Pax wanted me to meet him. Fair enough.

I said, “Which one of you is Captain Piri?”

"Piri here," came the resonant reply. Piri's voice is rich and strong, and a little deeper than I'd imagined an Erisan voice could be. "I touch?"

"You want to touch me?" I said.

Pax chirped and then said something to his father in Erisan. He told me, "I tell him to only touch the hands. I say it not nice to touch Earth people everywhere."

"Thank you," I said. "You can tell him that he can touch me if he wants to. They can all touch me if they want to.”

“Okay,” Pax said. He relayed that information to his parents and then he instructed me to hold out my hand, palm up. An Erisan's first touch is always on the palm of someone's hand, he explained. Evidently, under normal circumstances, it moves on from there. I did as Pax advised and, a moment later, somebody was stroking my palm lightly with a fingertip.

“Piri?” I ventured.

“This good?” Piri said. “It...okay?”

“Yes. It's okay.”

“You feel like me,” he said.

He sounded astonished, and I wondered what he'd expected Earth people to feel like. Beside Piri, one of the others gave a derisive little snort. I guessed it was Suvi, since the next thing I heard was a female voice saying, “It have skin like us. It feel like us.”

“He,” I corrected automatically. “Not it. I'm a guy. Uh...male. You know.”

Suvi snorted again. “Male? I not see male. You–” she trailed off into her own language.

Whatever Suvi had said must've been funny because Pax and Sini were both giggling. Sini said, “She does not believe you are male, Tyler. It is because of your clothes. She cannot see that you are male.”

“Well, I'm not going to prove it to her,” I said, which only caused my wife to laugh harder.

From somewhere off to my right I heard Kiro say, “Will you prove it to me?”

“No,” I said.

Suvi declined to touch me after that little exchange, so that left only Jex who hadn't yet been properly introduced. Jex seemed nervous, and both Pax and Piri had to coax him a little before he would consent to place his fingertips against my palm. I said hello to him. He didn't respond, and I wondered if he was too shy to speak or if he simply hadn't understood what I was saying. When I tried again to speak to him, he made a soft, nondescript moaning sound which I could not interpret.

“Is he okay?” I asked.

“He fine,” Pax said. “He always make that noise when he confused.”

“You and Sini don't make that noise when you're confused.”

“Jex different,” Pax said. “He...um...blind in the ears."

Despite the situation, I laughed out loud at that.  "He's what?"

"He doesn't hear anything,” Pax said. “His ears don't work. It sort of like being blind, but different."

"Very different, in my opinion," I said. "When people can't hear, we say they're deaf."

"Deaf. Jex...deaf."

That explained why his vocalizations seemed so unusual. He couldn't hear himself making the non-word sounds, so he had no way of knowing that his noises were different than everyone else's. I asked Pax, "How can I talk to him? I'd like to say hello."

"Jex talk with signs, but...that not very good for you," Pax said. "Maybe you can do..." he finished up with a word in Erisan.

"What's that?"

"We do something in our minds," Pax said. "I not know...I don't know if there a word in English, but it like...I think about what I want to say and Jex hear me with his mind." 

"Telepathy?" I turned toward Sini. "I thought you guys couldn't do that."

"Most people cannot," Sini said. "Jex is of the Emri." 

"The what?"

"The Emri. It is...a religion? No...I do not think that is the right word. A philosophical group or perhaps...an order? Anyone who is gifted with certain mental powers must be sent to live with the Emri, and they have many rules for themselves. They do not believe in technology and they have rituals.  I do not know if that is the right word, either."

"What kind of rituals?"

"Secret ones."

"Everything a big secret with the Emri," Pax said, "They live in a castle and they not ever allowed to leave, except to buy food and soap and stuff, and then they go back right away.  And normal people not ever allowed to go in. I saw it one time, from the outside, and I got scared and Jex got scared too, and then Suvi say we both silly."

"Many people are afraid of the Emri," Sini said.  "I do not think being scared was silly at all."

"Pax, if the Emri can't leave and other people can't get in, how did Jex end up with you?" I asked.

"It a true love story," Pax said dramatically, and I could almost picture him clasping his hands together and pretending to swoon. "Piri ran away with him in the night. It like in a fairy tale where the prince gets rescued."

I don't know of any fairy tales where the prince gets rescued but, then again, I've never heard any Erisan fairy tales.  Maybe in Erisan stories, princes need saving just as often as princesses do. I wonder if Erisan has a phrase equivalent to 'damsel in distress' that they use for guys in those rescue-the-prince stories? In any case I'm pretty sure I understood what Pax meant, and I have to say I was intrigued. There were about a million questions I wanted to ask.

As it turned out, I wasn't the only one with rampant curiosity that needed satisfying. Despite Pax's warning about not touching me anywhere except the hands, once Jex got over his initial shyness he seemed unable to restrain himself. He touched my forearm and then my shoulder. I let him. He wanted to touch my ears next and made an almost-chirp of delight when he discovered their shape. The next place his fingers came to rest was on my face. I held perfectly still while he drew a line from my cheek to my jaw with the tip of one finger.

All of a sudden, he let out an alarmed-sounding squeak. His hand dropped away from me, and I felt a slight shifting of air and heard a scuffling sound as he scooted backwards across the floor. Piri said something in their language, and Suvi offered another one of her dismissive snorts.

“What's wrong?” I asked. “What happened?”

“Hair,” said Piri.

“Hair?”

“On your face,” Sini explained, coming to the rescue of both of us. “Jex realized you have hair on your face. It startled him.”

“I don't–” was my immediate reaction, but then I remembered that I hadn't shaved that morning and I was sporting a day's growth of stubble. I reached up to brush a hand across my own chin. For me, a day-old beard doesn't really amount to much and I couldn't see what was so startling about it. Maybe if I hadn't shaved for a week, that'd be something to talk about. I said, “Okay. Facial hair. What's the big deal about that?”

“Erisan males do not have it,” Sini said. “He says it is very...alien.”

“It seems you have made an excellent first impression, brother,” Kiro said far too cheerfully as he dropped onto the floor beside me. “A hairy pink alien. You are like something from an adventure story. It is all very exciting.”

“You–” I began.

“May I touch your face hair as well?” Kiro asked.

“No!” I said. “And don't call me brother.”

“But, I am your brother now,” Kiro said. “What should I call you, if not brother?”

“I have a name. You could try using that.”

"You are angry again."

I sighed. “No, I'm not angry. I'm just...overwhelmed, I guess. It's not every day that people from another world land in your kitchen. I mean, it's a lot to take in.”

“We did not land inside.”

“You know what I mean.”

“It is overwhelming for us also,” Kiro said. “I have read and watched everything that our observer ships have ever recorded about your world and I have studied your language, but it did not prepare me for the reality of being here. It is the same for Piri and the others.”

“Yeah, I suppose it is.”

“You may be comforted that we will not be here very long. Once we are gone, you may resume your life as it was, and we will resume ours.”

“About that–”

“Tyler, I think we should talk about that later,” Sini interrupted. “In private.”

“Fine.”

“Right now, we must make sure everyone is comfortable,” she went on. “We must be certain to cook enough vegetables for dinner, and we must decide where everyone will sleep tonight.”

I didn't bother to point out that Sapphire was the one who would ultimately decide where – and if – our otherworldly visitors would be staying.  I could just picture Sapphire's reaction when she found out these guys intended to crash here for the night. It was hard to imagine her saying no, but I was sure she'd have questions that would require straight answers. Kiro, the Erisans' de facto spokesperson, didn't seem capable of straight answers, so that encounter ought to be fun. Truth be told, I really didn't want to be around for it.

Abruptly, I said, “They're not sleeping in our room.”

“I would like to see your room,” Kiro said.

“There's no way--”

“I will show you, Kiro,” Pax cut me off in mid-protest. “I can show you our beds, and my toys and Skyla's toys, and all my socks!”

“Socks?” Kiro echoed.

“Socks are cool and awesome,” Pax said. “They one of my favourite Earth things. I also like ice cream and soccer. Oh...and ketchup! You have not lived until you eat vegetables with ketchup.”

“Perhaps I will try this...ketchup,” Kiro remarked. “We would all like to wash. Do you have a bathing pool here?”

“It not a pool exactly,” Pax told him. “It like a small box and only one person can fit in. Come with me. I show you.”

“Okay,” Kiro said.

“Tyler, you come too,” Pax said. “You can tell about the parts I don't know.”

“What is there to tell that you don't know?” I said. “You can do it by yourself.”

“But–”

“Pax,” Sini said, and then continued in Erisan. It sounded like she was scolding him.

Pax spoke to her in the same language and then said something to Kiro, who also replied in Erisan. Then, Kiro got up from his place on the floor, and I heard him and Pax heading for the stairs together.

That was the point at which Piri and Suvi both started talking at once. I caught Pax's name and the words for child and parent, but that was all. Sini's response was none too gentle, and I didn't even want to guess what she might've been saying to her former captain and his wife...partner...whatever.

At that moment, Beau's desire to escape suddenly made sense to me. As if the mere idea of our house being overrun by aliens wasn't jarring enough, the tangle of unfamiliar voices shouting unintelligible words was almost too much. Hoping I would go unnoticed, I retraced my path through the kitchen and back to the front door. Maybe I'd just slip my boots and coat on again and go for a walk around the block.

I might've been able to make a clean getaway if Cassie and Radek hadn't chosen that exact moment to arrive home from school.

Cassie asked me more or less the same question as I'd asked Beau when I caught him leaving, and I gave her pretty much the same answer; our house was full of aliens. Cassie's reaction to the news, however, was vastly different than mine had been. She let out a little squeal and said, “Is it Pax's family? I'll bet he's so excited! He has two dads, you know.”

“I know,” I said. “I've met them, and his mother.”

“Oh my gosh! Really? It's really Pax's family? I have to see them!” and with that, she raced past me in the direction of the kitchen. I don't think she even took her boots off.

Radek let out an audible sigh. “It's going to be totally mad around here from now on, isn't it?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I imagine so.”

'Madness' wasn't an adequate description to cover the chaos that ensued once the rest of our roommates found their way home from work or school. 

I think Sapphire was just as shocked as I had been to encounter our visitors, although I have to say she handled it a lot better than I did.   I'm not sure she was entirely pleased with the idea of letting them spend the night but, as I predicted, she didn't refuse them.   Piri solved the problem of where they'd all sleep by informing Sapphire that the living room would work just fine for their needs.  Actually, what he said was, "We sleep this room." But, I think Sapphire got the message.  The issue of what to feed them for breakfast was also settled by Piri who declared, "Tomorrow eat here.  Coffee and Earth foods." 

Coffee.  As if they aren't already energetic enough.

I noticed Sapphire never asked how the Erisans knew about coffee.  Maybe she just figured some things were better left unknown.  

For the remainder of the afternoon and evening, our house was a scene of utter pandemonium.  The Erisans wanted to meet  - and touch - all the Earth people, and everyone seemed eager to share details of their respective worlds.  Piri fell madly in love at first sight with my piano, and Kiro fell madly in love at first sight with Remi.  Thanks in no small part to Cassie, Jex began a love affair with chocolate.  Suvi tried (unsuccessfully) to make first contact with Sapphire's dog.

Through this mad tapestry of conversation and cultural exchange, the common thread was the subject of Pax and Sini's return to Eris.  Sini and Pax chattered excitedly about it with the other Erisans and with our roommates.  Pax announced at one point that when he returned to his home, he would go to school and learn how to be a starship pilot like his father.   Sini, much to my astonishment, also said she'd like to return to work in space.   I had no response for that, but it didn't seem to matter.  Nearly everyone was ignoring me, including Sini.

When it was finally time for bed, I was only too grateful to seek the sanctuary of our room.  Sini came upstairs with me.  I was looking forward to snuggling under the covers with her, safely away from the crowd downstairs but, as things turned out, Sini had other ideas.   She'd only come to our room to take off her clothes. She intended to sleep with her brother and the rest of our visitors.  As you might've guessed, I didn't take that revelation very well.  

Now, as I'm writing this, the only people here in my room are Skyla and me. Pax, Sini and Kiva are all in the living room with the other Erisans.  The aliens came prepared with some kind of inflatable cushions to sleep on and a neat little machine like a tiny air compressor to inflate them with. Sapphire provided them with a few blankets and sleeping bags and they constructed an impressive nest in which, apparently, they're all sleeping together.

Nobody invited me to join them. Sini did try to take Skyla with her, but Skyla wasn't buying into the plan at all. She clung to me and screamed as if she were in mortal danger and refused even to let Sini touch her. Eventually, Sini gave up attempting to convince her to go downstairs and just left her with me.

Maybe I overreacted, but the moment Sini walked out the door of our room I felt as if she'd abandoned Skyla and me. I couldn't do anything to prevent the dull ache in my chest and the tightness in my throat as I listened to her footfalls recede. Maybe it was the stress of the day catching up with me, or maybe it was Sini's choice to sleep with her brother and friends instead of with me that was the proverbial last straw but, whatever the reason, I decided I didn't have the will to fight my emotional response. It was too much of an effort to keep myself from crying. I guess that's a pretty unmanly thing to admit, but it's true. There was no one but Skyla to witness it, and she wouldn't judge me for my tears. Besides, she was generating plenty of her own.

Sitting on the floor with Skyla in my arms, I rocked us both back and forth for a while. Ironically, it was Skyla who stopped crying first, but she let me hold her until my tears were spent. Afterwards, I tucked us both into our beds and Skyla quickly fell asleep.

I lay awake for a long time, listening to the sounds of the house and trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts. Part of me had hoped Sini would come back when she sensed how upset I was, but she didn't. I supposed she wasn't paying attention to any of my emotions just then, and thinking of that made my feelings of abandonment grow even more acute.   In desperation, I tried to distract myself with other thoughts, but my mind kept coming back to this one idea. She would rather be with them than with me.

Of course she'd rather be with them, the rational part of my brain retorted. These are her people.

Intellectually, I knew that made sense, but understanding it didn't make it hurt any less.

The same two thoughts chased each other around my brain for what felt like hours until I was utterly exhausted. At last, my body lost its battle with consciousness and I fell asleep.  My sleep wasn't particularly restful. It was plagued with bad dreams. I knew I must've been thrashing around a lot because I woke from a particularly vivid nightmare to discover my body was right on the edge of the mattress and my arm was hanging over the side of the bed.

I gave up on trying to get any more rest after that. I climbed out of bed to check on Skyla and found that she, at least, was dozing peacefully. Satisfied that Skyla was all right, I concluded that the time might best be used in writing down everything that had happened during the day.  I apologize if what I've written here doesn't make a lot of sense.  I'm still trying to sort it out, myself.  

I'll confess that I'm not sure how I should feel right now. On one hand, I'm pleased to see Sini and Pax so happy to be reunited with their long-lost family members, but on the other hand I can't shake the sense of dread that comes over me when I realize that all our lives were irrevocably changed today by the presence of these people in our home. We can never, as Kiro suggested, resume our lives as they were, and that idea scares me a lot. I mean, how can my life ever be the same as it was before, now that I'm living with the knowledge that my brother-in-law is from outer space? There's just no easy way to assimilate a fact like that.

And what if Sini decides to leave with them? Sini and I haven't talked about it yet, and maybe that's a good thing because I have no idea what I might say. This afternoon she seemed to take it as a foregone conclusion that the girls and I would leave too, but I'm not sure that would be the best thing for any of us. I know that I once said I'd leave everything I'd ever known to be able to stay with Sini and I'm sure I meant it at the time but, when I said that, I don't think I believed something like this could really happen.  Now, I'm not certain I can make that choice, either for me or my daughters.   

One of the worst things about all this is there's no one I can ask for advice or help.   I'd say it's a safe bet that no other person in the entire world has ever been faced with the decision of whether or not to follow his spouse into outer space and take up residence on an alien planet.  This is a situation unique to me.  It's terrifying to contemplate, but even if Sini and I talk about it, I am the one who must ultimately choose if I will go or stay. 

I don't know what to do.

If you love something, let it go...

But I can't...I can't...and I don't know how I could ever bring myself to leave everyone and everything that's familiar.  Do you see the impossibility of it all?

I'm going to stop writing now.   I will let you know what happens tomorrow.   My maternal grandmother, Nanna Seraphine, was fond of saying that things always look better in the morning.   I hope Nanna's counsel turns out to be right this time.