Our Love Story

"Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story." 

Don J. Snyder -- Of Time And Memory

*****

Today is Valentine's Day, and you're expecting a love story, right?  Well, I've got one for you, although it's going to be different than the typical Valentine's Day tale.   Let's just say my story isn't exactly a variation on the Romeo and Juliet theme. Okay, we do have the young lovers, but in my story there are no feuding families and there's no tragedy at the end.  The other main difference is that in Romeo and Juliet, the title characters didn't have a baby.  Anyway, even if they did, I doubt Romeo would have been present for the birth, much less have been the first person to hold his newborn child in his very own hands.

This is the next chapter in The Story of Tyler and Sini, and it's all about how we were blessed with the best Valentine's Day gift we could ever receive.

For me, this part of the story began yesterday morning as I was getting ready for school. I suppose that's when it began for Sini as well, although at the time I hadn't realized that. I noticed Sini didn't seem like her usual self as we were preparing for our day, but when I asked her if something was wrong she told me she was fine and that I shouldn't worry.

She bade me farewell with a rather distracted kiss on the side of my face and a warning to be careful on the icy sidewalks. Just so you know, Sini's usual modus operandi for goodbyes does not include pecks on the cheek. Her typical behaviour when she sees me off to work or school has been known to prompt obnoxious whistling from Xander, cries of “Eww...gross!” from Cassie and, on one notable occasion, it caused Beau to comment, “Y'know, that's downright embarrassin'. If I didn't know you were on your way out the door, I might suggest y'all get yourselves a room.”

The kiss alone was enough to set off a thousand alarm bells inside my head but, worried or not, what could I do? Sini had assured me she was okay and my insisting otherwise wouldn't have accomplished anything. I made her promise to call me if she needed me, and she said she would. It's great that I have my own phone now, even though it means one more bill I have to pay.

By lunchtime Sini hadn't phoned, which should have reassured me; however, the absence of a call from her only made me feel more anxious. When I phoned home between classes, Rommie answered and told me that Sini was resting and didn't want to be disturbed. I resisted the urge to ask Rommie whether she or Georgia had noticed anything out of the ordinary with Sini. I simply thanked her and then hung up. In the afternoon, I had trouble focusing on what my professors were saying and I could hardly wait until the end of my last class so I could leave campus.

In light of everything I've just said, I imagine you're all going to shake your heads when I tell you what happened after I left the university. I'd been so preoccupied that I'd somehow managed to forget that the next day – today – would be Valentine's Day. I was halfway home when it occurred to me, so I decided to make a quick detour into a florist's shop for six pink tulips.

Someone out there is now inevitably going to ask, 'What? You didn't get red roses for your wife for Valentine's Day?' I guess this merits a little explaining, too. The simple answer is that Sini doesn't like roses as much as she likes tulips.

The first time I ever bought flowers for Sini, I actually did get half a dozen red roses for her. I was ridiculously proud of myself, and I made a big, romantic production of the whole thing. She loved the presentation – that much had been obvious – but her reaction to my gift wasn't anything close to what I'd expected. Instead of telling me they were beautiful and that she was going to put them in a vase of water right away, her response was, “Oh Tyler...they smell delicious!”

Then, she promptly began to eat them.

Aliens.

If there's one lesson I've learned during the course of my relationship with Sini, it's that it is never safe to assume anything. The next time I got a bouquet for her I went with the less expensive option and learned, to my simultaneous pleasure and stupefaction, that tulips have a much more “exotic” flavour. So, I don't buy roses for my wife because the whole point of buying flowers for a woman is to please her, and she's far more satisfied with the flavour of tulips than roses. Plus, with tulips, there aren't all those thorns to deal with.

With carefully-wrapped tulip bouquet in hand, I tried to hurry the rest of the way home. When I got there it was Pax, not Sini, who met me at the door. Pax seemed unusually agitated, but when I asked him what was the matter, he didn't seem able to explain it.

“Where's Sini?” I asked.

He paused for a moment as if he might be thinking about the answer. Finally he said. “She upstairs. I think she sick.”

“Sick?”

“Well...not sick. I don't know. It don't make sense.”

“Doesn't make sense.”

He huffed in frustration and exclaimed. “I never going to get this right!”

“You're doing fine,” I said. “What doesn't make sense?”

“I don't know,” he said again. “It like...I know Sini is in pain, but I feel her being kind of happy, too. Who feel happy when they are in pain? That doesn't make sense.”

“Oh,” I said.

“What?” Pax demanded.

“It makes sense to me.” I held out the flowers to him. “Here, can you put these in some water, please? I'll be right back.”

Pax took the tulips, and I immediately got busy shedding my backpack and boots. I didn't even bother to take off my coat before I bolted for the stairs.

“Where you going?” Pax all but yelled. “Wait for me!”

I stopped just long enough to lean over the stair rail and say, “Stay down there, please. I'll be back in a minute, I promise. And don't eat those flowers. They're for Sini.”

When I reached our room and opened the door, I could hear Sini pacing back and forth. I stood in the doorway for a second to catch my breath, and then I stepped inside and closed the door behind me again.

“Sini?” I said.

The pacing stopped and she came over to me. She said, “You feel upset. What is wrong?”

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” I blurted.

“Tyler,” she said, her tone gently admonishing. “You do not need to raise your voice.”

“I'm sorry, but you--”

“Please, try to be calm. You are shaking.”

Yes, I am shaking, I realized with some alarm. I hadn't noticed just how badly I was trembling until Sini pointed it out. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to will my racing heart to slow down. It took me a while, but I managed to say, “I'm okay.”

“Are you?” Sini said. She took my hand and led me to our bed, where she sat down and pulled me down beside her. “Tell me why you are so upset.”

The world kind of tilted sideways for me at that point and I found that I had absolutely no idea how to react. I opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out of me was an undignified and unmasculine squeak. I cleared my throat and got out, “Are we...I mean, are you...uh...” One final attempt resulted in, “Pax says you're in pain.”

“Yes. A little.”

“So...it's time, then?”

“Yes,” she said, as cool and collected as you please. “Our child will come soon.”

“Soon, as in...?”

“Tonight, or perhaps in the morning.”

“Okay,” I said, and added silently, I am not going to panic. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What do you need me to do?”

“Right now, I do not need you to do anything.”

“This all started this morning, didn't it?” I said.

“Yes.”

“And you didn't think you should tell me? You just let me go to school like it was an ordinary day.”

“It was an ordinary day,” Sini said. “I helped Rommie with the laundry this morning and I ate fruit salad for lunch. You went to school. That is very ordinary.”

“That's not what I mean. I would've stayed home with you if I'd known.”

"I know," she said. “But, school is important and you have missed too many days already. Besides, the pain was not very bad this morning, and there was nothing you could have done about it anyway. This happens as it happens, without any influence from anyone.”

“I know, but I could have been with you.”

“You are with me now. That is what is important. You--” She stopped speaking abruptly and squeezed my hand. For several moments, all I could hear was the sound of her breathing slowly and deliberately.

“Are you okay?” I asked which, viewed in retrospect, was a pretty stupid question.

“I...am fine,” she said eventually. “I revise my opinion. Perhaps our child will come before morning after all.”

“Does it hurt a lot?” I could've kicked myself for that one. Way to go, Brightman. You're a genius.

Fortunately, my wife is a good natured person, and doesn't hold my moments of thick-headedness against me. She said, “It is bearable. You should not worry so much.”

“I can't help it,” I said.

“We have done this before. Everything will be fine,” she said, and then she actually laughed. “It will be better this time. I promise not to say such terrible things to you as I did last time.”

“You said terrible things to me when Skyla was born? I don't remember that.”

“When the pains became very bad, I...may have said some things about never letting you touch me again and about what I would do to you if you tried.”

“Oh,” I said. “This was all in Erisan, wasn't it? I had no idea. I thought you'd just temporarily forgotten how to speak English. I wasn't even sure you knew what you were saying at that point.”

“There was also that,” she said.

“Maybe you'd better not make any promises right now.”

“Perhaps not,” she said. She was quiet for a moment and then, “I think I would like to rest now, while I can. You can stay if you like.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“It is up to you. Perhaps you should eat now, though. I can feel that you are hungry, and Skyla and Pax will want something to eat soon as well.”

“I think it's my turn to cook tonight, too. Me and Remi, I think.”

“You should take care of that,” she said. “I will be fine.”

“If you're sure.”

“Yes,” she said. “You can come back to me in an hour or two.”

I was reluctant to leave her, but I had to concede that she was right. There was nothing I could do for her and, if she was going to be resting, it wasn't really necessary for me to be in the room. I knew she'd really need me later, and then there'd be plenty for me to do.

Downstairs, I discovered that Xander had arrived home from his classes at the community college and Radek and Cassie were home from school as well. Dylan and Beau were both working a late shift and wouldn't be done until nine o'clock, so they weren't going to be joining us for dinner. As it turned out, my cooking partner wasn't Remi, since he was also working till nine. Georgia apprehended me on the way to the kitchen and informed me that we would be preparing the meal together, adding, ”I'm gonna learn you how to fix a real nice apple pie, Mr. Brightman.”

I had no doubt the pie would be awesome if Georgia Lee Dixon had anything to do with it. She's a veritable wonder in the kitchen. I may be Canadian, but nobody's going to hear me saying no to what Beau calls “a good ol' American apple pie.”

Georgia was ahead of the game, since she'd decided that we were going to have roast chicken and already had it in the oven. I peeled and sliced a bunch of potatoes and carrots and put them on to cook while Georgia cut up some other vegetables and made a salad. Then, we set to work on baking. Before too long, the kitchen was filled with the warm, rich scent of cinnamon and the inviting aroma of our roasting chicken. It was a comforting smell, one that made me think of all the times I've felt safe and loved in my life. It made me think of family and home.

Sapphire arrived from work just as Georgia was taking our pies out of the oven. I wanted to run upstairs to check on Sini before we all sat down to eat, but I decided I should tell Sapphire what was going on first. She seemed pretty happy for us and asked if there was anything she could do to help. I said I didn't think there was anything at the moment, but that I'd let her know if we needed anything later.

Miraculously, Sini was sleeping when I looked in on her so I didn't disturb her, opting instead to return and eat supper with my family and friends. Sini's conspicuous absence didn't go unnoticed, and we hadn't been sitting for more than five minutes before Cassie asked about her. In hindsight, I probably should've been more circumspect. My announcement to everyone at the table that our baby was coming set off a cacophony of reactions, not the least of which was Pax chirping excitedly and demanding, “It going to be a brother or a sister?”

I smiled. “My guess would be a sister, but we won't know for sure until the baby is born.”

“When?”

“Sini thinks it'll be before morning,” I said.

“Really?” This came from Rommie, who sounded astonished.

“That's what she says.”

“She didn't mention anything about it to me.”

“She wouldn't. It's a very private thing with Erisans. She didn't even tell me until I got home from school.”

“You mean it's been happening all day?” Rommie said. “She helped me around the house a bit this morning and she seemed fine. She was quiet, but I didn't notice anything really out of the ordinary.” Her voice took on a tone of utter incredulity. “Tyler, she went out for a walk around the block this afternoon. There's absolutely no way--”

“She's not an Earth person,” I reminded. “It's not exactly the same for her as it was for you.”

“Yeah,” Pax chimed in. “For Erisans, it not all...dramatic.”

“How would you know that?” The words came from Xander, although the exact same question had sprung into my mind.

“I know,” Pax said, with an air of authority. “Piri sister have three babies. One older than me, but I there when the other two came. Nobody scream or cry at all except the babies.”

“That's...weird,” Xander said. “Kind of disgusting, even.”

“It life,” Pax said, his tone matter-of-fact. “That not weird. What you going to do when you and Remi get a third partner and have babies?”

“Uh...” was all Xander seemed able to say.

Across the table, Rommie, Cassie and Sapphire were all giggling, and Georgia said, “Oh my...”

“I going to be with you and Sini, right Tyler?” Pax said.

“Yes,” I said. “Sini told you that's what she wanted, didn't she? I don't think she's changed her mind.

“I going to be really helpful.”

“I'm sure you will,” I said. It wasn't lost on me that I'd just learned Pax had actually seen more babies being born than I had. “Sini and I are both going to be counting on you to be as helpful as you can.”

After supper, Pax helped Sapphire with the washing up and decided that he was going to play video games for a while once they were done. I told him that I'd come and find him later, and then went to see how Sini was doing.

This time when I stepped into our room, I didn't find her resting, although she was still lying on the bed. I sat beside her, and reached out to take her hand, only to discover her fingers were already locked around a fistful of blanket. I stroked the back of her hand with my fingertips. She made a small mewing sound.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?”

“I need you to stay with me now,” she said.

“I'm right here,” I said. “I'm not going anywhere.”

For the next few hours, not much happened. I worked on my homework for a bit, but writing an essay on the history and development of the criminal trial process wasn't something I was particularly enthusiastic about and I finally set my laptop aside. Sini and I talked a little, but mostly we just sat quietly together listening to classical music on the radio. Sini didn't want me to touch her aside from holding her hand, and I was perfectly content to do that. She let out an occasional whimper but, as Pax had so succinctly put it, there was no drama. 

Sometime around ten o'clock, Sini told me that she didn't feel safe or comfortable on the bed any more. If I've never mentioned it before, Erisans don't have beds like we do. Instead, from what I can figure out based on Sini's description, they prefer huge pillows on the floor. They don't even have beds in their hospitals and long-term care homes, except for the purpose of examinations or surgery, and even those sound more like tables than the hospital beds Earth people are used to.

Once I'd thought about it, I concluded there's a kind of elegant logic to making your 'bed' on the floor. It would certainly be more economical in terms of space and, if you're already as close to the ground as you can get, there's no chance of falling out of bed and injuring yourself. While most adults probably don't need to worry too much about falling out of bed, being close to the floor seems an undeniably safer option for children, people with certain physical disabilities, the elderly and - of course – expectant mothers.

Much to my amusement, but not to my surprise, Sini had made herself a nest of pillows on the floor of our room earlier in the day and that was where she wanted to be when she left the bed.

With a bit of effort from both of us, Sini settled into her nest. For a minute all she did was lie amid her pillows and make the most pitiful noise I'd ever heard. It sounded like equal parts mental relief and physical discomfort, and it was impossible to tell which sentiment might be the greater one. I held back the impulse to ask her if she was all right because it was fairly evident that she wasn't, and I figured I'd already hit my quota of dumbass questions for the day in any case.

When she was able to speak again, she said shakily. "Go and find Pax now, please."

"I can't leave you.”

"Yes, you can. Find Pax, and make certain that someone is watching Skyla. I will be okay until you come back."

"I'll hurry," I said.

"Yes," she said. "Please."

I ran into Rommie on my way down the hall and told her what was going on. She said she'd go in and stay with Sini until I came back. I didn't think Sini would view that as a great idea, but I really didn't feel like I had time to stand there and argue with my sister-in-law about it, so I just thanked her and continued downstairs. Georgia had volunteered to keep an eye on Skyla earlier in the evening but, now that Beau was home from work, I expected she'd rather spend some quality time with him and not have to deal with the responsibility of looking after my child. I asked Sapphire if she'd mind keeping Skyla with her for the night, and she agreed that she would.

I found Pax in Radek's room where Radek, Xander and some friend of theirs who they introduced to me as Daniel were teaching him how to play poker. Pax seemed pretty pleased with himself for learning how to play “a cool Earth game.” I'm not sure if Pax learning how to gamble is all that cool even if the currency is only candy, and I don't think it's wise for the others to stay up late on a school night, but it seemed prudent not to say anything about any of that. It's not my place to make rules for Radek anyway, and Xander is his own man these days. Pax didn't seem overly impressed at being interrupted mid-game; however, when I told him why I'd been looking for him, his attitude transformed considerably.

When Pax and I got back to our room, Rommie was talking quietly to Sini, who didn't seem particularly thrilled to be on the receiving end of Rommie's platitudes. Sini was making a sound which Rommie seemed to interpret as pain but which I knew to be a sign that she was extremely irritable and frustrated and fighting to keep from losing her temper. 

No sooner had I stepped through the door when I heard, "Tyler!"

"Everything all right in here?" I said.

"No," Sini said, and I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"I think she's a little scared," Rommie said.

"She not scared," Pax said. "Why you think she scared?"

"Well, she--" Rommie began. 

"I am annoyed," Sini said. "You are annoying me."

I crossed the room and knelt down beside Sini. "Never mind.  Everything's going to be fine."

“Everything was fine until this annoying woman came and began talking nonsense to me."

"I'm sure Rommie is just trying to help," I said. "Right?"

"I do not want her help," Sini said. "Her idea of help is not helpful."

Pax took in the situation with what I can only describe as maturity beyond his years and announced calmly. “We need stuff. Maybe Rommie help me with that.”

“I really don't think--” Rommie began.

“I serious,” Pax said. “This not a very good time to argue.”

I couldn't have agreed more but, apparently, Rommie wasn't willing to concede that Pax knew what he was talking about. She said, “Pax, sweetie, why don't you leave this to us? I've been here a few times myself, and I think a woman knows best what another woman needs.”

“No,” Pax said, sounding serious and very adult. “You don't know anything about what people from our world need.”

The possession of an empathic sense was totally unnecessary in order to feel Rommie's indignation. The air between her and Pax fairly crackled with it. I heard her inhale loudly, preparing to say something in retort.

Whatever she was about to say got overidden by Sini, who clutched at my forearm so fiercely that it hurt and practically shouted at me, "Tell her to leave!"

I was startled. I've seen Sini in a lot more pain than she seemed to be in just then, and I've seen her absolutely furious, but I've never known her to respond to pain or anger by shrieking at anyone like that.

"Rommie, you better go,” Pax said.

"But--" Rommie began.

"Get out!" Sini screamed so loudly and shrilly that I was sure the entire house must be able to hear her. “I do not want you here! Get out!”

"Sini!" I reached toward her and caught her firmly by the shoulder. "Listen to me! It's okay. You need to relax a little. Can you do that for me?"

I think she tried but, halfway through drawing in a deep breath, she began to cry. "I...I just want her to go away. Please, Tyler...just tell her to go away."

"She's going," I said. I could already hear Rommie heading toward the door.  I climbed halfway into Sini's nest of pillows so I could hold her, and she sagged in my arms.   She cried quietly for a few minutes while I stroked her hair and tried my best to comfort her. "It's all right, Sini. It's okay.  It's just us now."

She sniffled a little and said, "I do not want anyone but you and Pax."

"We're here.”

"Promise you will not let her come back."

"She won't come back." 

"It is not right for her to be here," Sini said. "You know how I feel about that."

"Yes, I know," I said.  

Pax gave a derisive little snort and declared. “She think she know everything. If she try to come back, I make sure she know I feel angry. Really know, in her mind.”

Sini must've sensed something to which I was oblivious, and it must've been enough to distract her temporarily from her own emotional state, because she somehow conjured up her scolding voice. “Pax! You must never do that with Earth people.  Do you understand? You could hurt their minds if you force them to feel things. They are not like us.”

“She made you cry,” Pax said defiantly.

“I am crying because my back and belly hurt,” Sini said.

While I was sure that was true, her answer was unconvincing. Rommie had made her cry. Both Pax and I knew it.  I wasn't about to argue the point, however, and it seemed Pax wasn't going to, either.

Pax said, “She still outside the door. Rommie, I mean. I feel her.”

I sighed. “I'd better go talk to her for a minute.”

“I stay here with Sini.”

“Yeah, you stay right here. I won't be long.” 

I eased Sini out of my arms, and Pax was there instantly to fill the space I'd left.   He began to make soft clicking noises, similar to the ones Sini sometimes makes when she's consoling Skyla after a tumble or soothing Pax after he's had a bad dream.  I've come to think of them as 'comfort clicks' although I never expected to hear Pax use them on anyone.  I was really proud of him just then, and I hoped he could feel it.    

As I got to my feet and headed for the door, Pax began to chant something to Sini in their language.   His voice was gentle and the rhythm of the chant was familiar.  I realized with a smile that it was another one of Sini's soothing devices.  This was the one Pax likes to hear when he wakes in the night.

I stepped into the hall and called out, "Rommie?  Are you still here?"

"Yes," she said, and seemed a little apologetic. "Is Sini going to be all right?"

"Yeah," I said.  "She'll be fine now. She doesn't want anyone else in there, that's all."

"Why?"

"Only immediate family members attend Erisan births," I said. "It's sort of a spiritual thing, if I understand it right."

"Oh."

"Sini didn't mean any of that stuff," I said, as I walked with Rommie back to her room. "You know she loves you, right?"

"I know," Rommie said. “I didn't take it personally, Being called annoying isn't that bad anyway. You should've heard some of the things I said to Michael.”

“I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to,” I said.

We stopped at the doorway of her room, and she touched my forearm. “Look, about Pax--”

“He's fine,” I said. “I think he's handling this amazingly well so far.”

“Are you sure he wouldn't be better off somewhere else right now?”

“No. I think it's important for him and Sini to be together. She wants him there and he wants to be there,” I said. “If we get to the point where he has to leave the room, I'll send him downstairs to Dylan and Beau's room.”

“Okay,” she said. She gave me a hug. "Go and take care of your family. If you need anything, just come and get me."

"Thanks, Rommie. I appreciate it."

"It's no problem," she said. She kissed me lightly on the cheek and then let me go. I hurried back to our room.

Our baby arrived in the early hours of the morning and, just as I promised Sini on the day of our niece Lucy's birth, the first hands to touch our child were mine. There's no way I can describe how I was feeling at that moment.  If you took every positive experience you've ever had, every sense of accomplishment, pride, happiness, amazement, excitement and love, and coalesced them into one emotion, that's what I felt.  I'm not the least bit embarrassed to admit I was so overwhelmed that I wept. Sini and I both did. We held our new little one and each other, and we cried with relief and joy that we had a wonderful, perfect baby girl. 

As soon as Sini and I agreed that she and the baby would be all right for a minute without me, I left them with Pax and ran to get Rommie. I needn't have worried about waking her at two in the morning. As it turned out, she was already awake and reading in bed, judging by the rustle of paper and the soft flop of something landing on the rug just before she came to meet me at the door.

Rommie seemed almost as excited as I was about the new arrival and said she could hardly wait to see her. Sini was a lot more welcoming toward Rommie's presence in our room this time around and willingly - almost meekly - allowed Rommie to look after her. Rommie is a businesslike and efficient caregiver, but she's also very gentle.  I think she'd make an excellent nurse or resident care worker and now that she's looking for a way to support herself I might suggest that she should consider going to school to train for a job like that. 

It seemed that in no time at all, Rommie had Sini and our baby both washed and comfortably dressed, and tucked into our clean, warm bed. As much as I wanted to snuggle under the blankets with Sini, I knew she wouldn't want that. She needed to rest, and I decided it'd be best if she slept without me, just for a little while. She could stretch out or curl up as she pleased, whichever was most comfortable for her, without having to worry about how much space she'd have to share with me.

Rommie finished her tasks and then left the room with a quiet "Goodnight," even though it was morning. She took Pax with her, despite his protests that he should be allowed to stay.   I could hear her out in the hall, telling him that it was very important for Sini and me to be alone with the new baby so that we could get to know her.  I heard Pax say plaintively, "But, she my baby sister and I love her!  I want to get to know her too."

"You can see her in the morning," I heard Rommie say to him.  "Come on.  I'll make you some hot chocolate and then you can have a sleepover in my room, okay?"  

I didn't catch his reply, and the next thing I heard was the sound of the two of them descending the stairs.   I crawled into Pax's bed.  I don't remember actually drifting off.  It seemed as if I descended into sleep the very second I closed my eyes.

When I awakened again, it was to Sini singing. My first thought was to wonder what time it was and how long I'd been asleep.  My next thought was that it didn't really matter.  I wasn't going anywhere.   I lay there for a few minutes, enjoying the comforting warmth of the blankets over me and the feeling of security and contentment at hearing Sini's sweet voice. The song was a familiar one.  It was the lullaby she often sings to me.

I'm getting used to Erisan and I'm learning to pick out individual words, even though I don't know what they mean. As I listened to my wife singing this morning, though, I realized that I did recognize one thing.  Several times in the song a phrase is repeated, "Anoa, kiva anoa..." Back in the summer, when Sini and I were talking about names, she'd told me that kiva means 'beautiful'. I congratulated myself for remembering that, but knowing only made me curious to understand the rest.

"Sini?"  I spoke softly, not wanting to startle her. 

She stopped singing. "Did I wake you?"

"No," I said.  "I woke up on my own.  Are you okay?"

"I am fine," she said. Judging by the tone of her voice, I could easily imagine her smiling. "I am tired, but I cannot sleep any more right now."

"Did you get any sleep at all?"

"Yes, and I will rest a little more after the baby eats and goes to sleep again."

"She's quiet," I said.

"She is eating, but she is almost finished, I think," Sini said. "Come and see her."

I didn't need much more encouragement than that.  I made my way across the short distance between Pax's bed and ours.  Carefully, I settled in beside Sini.  Now that I was closer, I could indeed tell that our daughter was eating.  She made greedy little noises as she nursed, the same as Skyla used to make, and I wondered if her eyes were half-closed in the same expression of bliss her sister used to wear while eating.  Once, when Sini was describing Skyla's expression as she nursed, she observed that Skyla had “the face of someone who has discovered true peace.”  Perhaps, for a baby, a state of true peace actually is when she's being held and fed by her mother. 

"She sounds hungry," I said.

"She has had a very eventful night." 

"I think that goes for all three of us."

"Are you hungry?" Sini asked.

"Are you?"

"I will eat after the baby eats.  You can bring me something,"

“How about tulips?” I said.

Sini laughed. “Tulips for breakfast? You are being silly.”

“No, I'm serious. I bought you some flowers on the way home from school yesterday. You know, for Valentine's Day, but I totally forgot about it until just now.”

“Understandable,” she said, and I could hear amusement in her voice as she added. “Tulips for breakfast...in bed. A woman could become accustomed to that sort of thing.”

“You'd better not get too accustomed to it,” I teased. “Unless you're willing to cultivate your own tulips in the back yard.”

“No,” she said. “I enjoy them more because they are a rare treat. I really would not want them every day. It is better to only have them on special days, like today.”

I smiled at that. “Today is a pretty special day, isn't it?”

“More so than you imagined it would be, I think,” she said. “You were only thinking about Valentine's Day when you bought the tulips?”

“Yeah, the reason I bought them was because of Valentine's Day, but I was definitely thinking about more than that. To tell you the truth, I kind of suspected what was going on when I left for school and I was so worried about you that I almost forgot about Valentine's Day.”

“It would not have mattered if you did forget,” Sini said. “We received a gift that shows our love more than anything either of us could choose for each other.”

“You're right,” I said. I reached out tentatively and touched the edge of the soft blanket our baby was wrapped in. "Tell me what she looks like?"

I hadn't thought to ask earlier.  When Rommie came in to help us, we'd been mostly concerned with making sure Sini and the baby were okay.  Aside from knowing that we had a healthy baby girl, I hadn't really considered any other details.

"She is blue," Sini said, sounding pleased. "Do you think I would seem selfish if I admit that I hoped she would be like me?"

"Of course not," I said. "So, I guess we're not naming her Scarlett?"

"No, and not Banana.  She does not look like a Banana."

"A blue Banana would be almost as ironic as a blue Scarlett," I said.  "There's still Denim, though.  That's blue, right?"

"Yes, but she is not going to be called Denim."

"Well, that was supposed to have been for a boy, anyway, so I'm not going to insist," I teased. "I mean, who ever heard of a girl named Denim?"

"I have never heard of a boy named Denim," Sini said.  I felt her shift a little beside me, and then she said, "You can hold her. You can see her for yourself."

Sini passed her to me carefully, and I cradled her in my right arm, her tiny head resting in the crook of my elbow.  Just for a few seconds, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth and the solid weight of her, and breathed her sweet baby scent.  I brushed the fingertips of my left hand across the crown of her head and felt the soft beginnings of hair.  That surprised me a little, as Skyla had been utterly bald when she was born. A few more centimetres brought the tip of my index finger in contact with a pointed ear.  For some reason, that made me unaccountably happy, and I grinned in Sini's direction. 

"She has your ears," I said.

"And your eyes, I think,” she told me. “They are a very pale blue.”

"What about her hair?"

"It looks white," Sini said.  "We will know for certain when it grows a little more."

“White hair,” I mused. “I wonder where she got that?”

“Perhaps from you. No one on my world has golden hair like yours. Perhaps our genes are not capable of making it and white is the closest thing.”

“She looks ethereal,” I said. 
 

Sini said, “In your mind's eye, my love?”

“In the heart of the beholder.” I touched my daughter's tiny palm, and her little hand curled reflexively around my finger. I smiled. “That's where beauty is.”

“We have that saying on my world too. The soul sees beauty better than the eye.”

“There must be a lot of poets on your world.”

“Yes, and bards.”

I laughed. “Bards? Eris has bards?”

“People who travel around the world and make songs about their experiences. Is 'bard' not the right word?”

“Yes, that's right. Bards are travelling poets and musicians.”

“One of the most famous travelling musicians in our history made the song I was singing this morning.”

“You sing that one a lot. I think that must be your favourite lullaby.”

“It is my favourite, but it is not a lullaby,” she said. “It is a love song."

"You sing it as a lullaby to Skyla."

"And to you," she said.

"I like it best when you sing it to me."

"That is logical," she said. "It is a song for partners more than it is for a child.  I sing it to Skyla because it is pretty, but I sing it to you because it is the truth."

"Can you tell me what it says?"

"I will try," Sini said. She paused, doubtless needing time to concentrate on her translation, and then she recited:

When the rainy season comes

and the forest is dark with storms,

I will not be afraid 

because I am with you.

You are the other half of my soul;

Without you I am incomplete.

You bring calm to my fears

and light to my darkness;

You are my breath, 

and the beat of my heart.

My soul is woven into yours,

and yours into mine,

and both into the spirit of the world

like two streams that flow

into the same great river.

Who can separate those waters again

once they flow in together?

When she was done neither of us spoke for a while. I thought about the Erisan bard who'd written the song and for whom he might have composed such tender yet passionate words. His true love was not just the other half of his soul. Her half was so intertwined with his half that it would be impossible to divide them. Together, they were more than they could ever be alone. 
 

"Calm to my fears and light to my darkness,” I said. “It's a beautiful song. You know, every day, you bring light to my darkness."

"And you bring calm to my fears,” Sini said softly.

"It's our song, isn't it?"

"It is our love story."

"Anoa, kiva anoa." I tried my best with the unfamiliar syllables. "The part that gets repeated.  What does that part mean?"

"It is the theme.  The...refrain?" Sini said.  "My love, my beautiful love." 

"Remember that story you told me?" I said.  "The one about when you were a little girl and you pretended that you had a family of your own?"

"I remember," she said.

"You called your baby Kiva."

"Yes."

"Does our little one look like a Kiva to you?"

Sini hesitated before she answered, and when she finally did reply she still seemed uncertain. "You...would give our child an Erisan name?" 

"Of course I would," I said. "Anyway, it was your idea in the first place."

"Yes."

"She's half Erisan.  She may never see your world, but she should have something to remind her where she comes from."

"Kiva," Sini said, as if she were trying it out. "Kiva Brightman.  Will she have a second familiar name, like you and Skyla?"

"I guess we didn't think of that, did we?"  I said.  I stroked Kiva's feathery hair and, almost without thinking about it, sang the refrain of Sini's love song, a melody I'd heard a hundred times but had never before produced on my own.  "Anoa, kiva anoa..."

"You sing that very well," she said. "I will teach you the rest, if you like."

"Yes," I said. "I'd like that."

Sini touched my hand, letting her fingers glide delicately over mine.  She lingered for a moment at the base of my ring finger and caressed the spot just behind my wedding ring.  "Kiva anoa," she whispered.  Then, sounding delighted and a little bit surprised, she said, "Tyler, that is her name.  Kiva Anoa.  She is part of our love story."

I smiled at that, "Yes, she is.  She and Skyla both are."

"There is another saying on my world.  Each child is a flower in the garden of our love.  I think ours are a special kind of flower.   A very rare and precious kind."

"Orchids," I said.

"Or ro flowers," she said.  "They are highly prized on my world because they are beautiful but very difficult to grow. They are grown to be loved and admired and for no other purpose. There is a myth about the ro flower that says the plants are empathic and will only grow and flourish under the hands of gardeners who have love and peace in their souls.”

"They sound a lot more special than orchids.”

"We have two ro flowers in our garden now," she said. “Two delicate, perfect flowers.”

I have to admit that I liked the idea of my daughters being compared to a flower so rare and sensitive that it can only flourish under the hand of a gardener who loves it. When I thought about that, I realized how much like Sini's special ro flowers our children actually are. Our daughters and Pax – and every other child – are much more likely to blossom in the care of nurturing parents.

That thought was enough to make me send a silent prayer to whatever gods may be out there to help me to never lose sight of that. I want Pax and Skyla and Kiva to have the best of everything in life; all the intangible things that aren't affected by where we live, how much money we have or how many people know our names. I want them to be happy, confident, trusting, generous and tolerant. I want to be all those things too, because I know the best way for my children to learn is to watch me. 

Help me take care of my rare flowers, I prayed. Let me always have love and peace in my heart.