A New Leaf On The Family Tree

I'm officially an uncle for the third time!

Lucy Anastasia Brightman was born last night around seven o'clock, and I'm happy to say that she and Rommie are both doing fine.  I can't say the same for Michael, but we're hoping he'll come around.

The whole house was in an uproar yesterday.  Rommie decided sometime in the summer that she wanted her baby to be born at home this time and, despite Michael's protests that it would be safer and much more sensible to go to the hospital, Rommie got her own way in the end.  Jack and Cleo were born in the hospital, but apparently Rommie hadn't liked the atmosphere there.  She said the hospital was cold and impersonal and she thought that having this baby at home and being attended by a midwife would be a far less stressful experience for her.

Back when she first decided this, and Michael disagreed with her, they asked me for my opinion on it.  I didn't really want to get involved, but I said that I could see how going to the hospital would be stressful.  With my various medical problems, I've spent a lot of time in hospitals during my life.  My instinct is to avoid them whenever possible. 

I think they really asked for my opinion because Skyla was born at home.  That had nothing to do with any aversion to hospitals on either Sini's part or mine, although in hindsight I think it was probably a good thing Sini wasn't attended by a doctor.   Sini and Pax's presence on our planet isn't a secret by any means, but aside from surprised reactions or the occasional uninformed remark, most of the people around our neighbourhood don't seem to make a big deal of the fact that Pax and Sini are not like us.   If a medical professional ever got a proper look at them, though, I'm pretty sure the presence of aliens on our world wouldn't remain an understated fact for very long.

One of my worst fears is that Sini or Pax will get injured or seriously ill and actually need professional medical attention some day.  I have that worry for Skyla too, although I've taken Skyla to my family doctor before without incident.  Aside from mild curiosity over Skyla's eye colour and the the shape of her ears, Dr. Cho didn't seem to think anything else was out of the ordinary.   I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have the same reaction to Pax or Sini.   I don't know how we'd handle it if either of them needed a doctor, but I try not to dwell on it.  As Sini says, worrying about something that might happen makes about as much sense as eating when you're not hungry or trying to sleep when you're not tired. 

I was talking about babies, though, wasn't I?   Skyla was born at home because having babies at home is the normal Erisan way.  It's not that Eris doesn't have advanced medical science.  Sini assures me that Erisan medicine makes Earth medicine look primitive by comparison, but Erisans don't view pregnancy as a condition requiring medical treatment, even if they happen to be as ill as Sini was the first time.  She seemed convinced that she'd be fine, even if I didn't believe it at times.  After all was said and done, she was absolutely right.

Another reason Erisan babies are almost always born at home is that, for Erisans, birth is considered an intimate experience not to be shared with anyone except the mother's loved ones.  Sini says the only instances in which an Erisan baby would not be born at home would be in the case of an illness, complication or emergency that endangered the life of the mother or the child.

Sini told me that she was present to welcome each one of her younger siblings.   Sini's parents are a trio, like Pax's parents, except that her family has two mothers instead of two dads.  Between Sini's biological mother and her other mother - her body mother and her soul mother as she refers to them - they have nine children.   Sini's brother Kiro is the oldest.  She also has a younger sister and six half-siblings.   When I did the math, I realized that if all the siblings and all three parents had attended the birth of the final child, there would've been eleven people there when he arrived. Twelve, if you counted the newborn himself.  My mind was blown by the idea of that. 

I was the only other person present at Skyla's birth, which was a situation that quite honestly scared the hell out of me.  Sapphire and Rommie came in and helped us right  afterwards, but Sini insisted that she didn't want anyone but me with her until Skyla was actually born.  When the new baby comes, Pax and Skyla will be with Sini too, but I'll still be the only adult there.  Believe me when I say that it already frightens me beyond description.

I have no clue what I would've done if anything had gone wrong when Skyla was born.  Fortunately, nothing did.   One thing we had going in our favour was that Sini was very composed and seemed to know exactly what to do.  She told me that it's instinctual and that nearly all Erisan mothers are perfectly capable of bringing their children into the world with minimal assistance.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that she was the one who kept telling me everything would be fine.   I can only hope things go as uneventfully for us this time around. 

Sini was horrified by the idea of the midwife being present at Lucy's birth.  She thought it was shocking even to consider allowing a person unrelated to the mother be there.  In fact, the whole situation really upset her, and I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I went so far as to say she thought it was sacrilegious.

It was about three o'clock when I got home from campus yesterday afternoon.   Sini met me at the door and immediately told me what was going on.  Some strange woman had arrived about an hour before I got home, she told me.   She said she'd asked Xander who the woman was and why she was there, and Xander had explained that the woman is a midwife and she was there because Rommie needed her.   It was obvious to me that Sini was unsettled by the woman's presence.  Even though she knew Lucy was going to be born at home, I don't think it ever occurred to her that Rommie would need professional support.

Sini wanted to talk about it, and I barely had time to set my backpack down and put my cane on its special hook by the door before she slid an arm around me and started walking us toward the living room.  I sat on the couch.  She situated herself next to me, but she didn't cuddle up close like she usually does.   That was enough of a signal for me to know how disquieted she was.   When she's thinking hard about something, she doesn't like to be touched. 

"I do not understand," she said to me, her distress clear in her voice, "how anyone could want a stranger to witness the birth of her child.  It is not right.  No one outside the family should share such a thing.  It is not theirs to be shared."

"The midwife isn't there to witness it," I said. "She's there to help."

"Why?"

"Because Rommie can't handle it by herself like you can."

"When Skyla came, I did not do anything by myself.  You were there."

"Yeah, but you did all the hard work."

"Mothers always do the hardest work," Sini said. "That is the way of things, but I do not understand how this stranger could help.  Would it not be better for Michael to be with her?"

"Think about that for a second," I said. "Can you seriously picture Michael being the only other person in there?  I don't think that'd be a very good situation, do you?"

After a moment's consideration, she said, "No, perhaps not."

"So, you see why the midwife is here."

"I suppose, but is still an unpleasant idea to me, letting a stranger do what a partner should do."

"I think the midwife is going to do a lot more for Rommie than I did for you."

"You do not know what you did for me, do you?"

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't as much as I should have done," I said.

"It was more than you realize, I think," she said. "You love me and give me strength.  That is more than any stranger could do."

"It's not very practical, though."

"Doing something for someone is not always about actions. As you say, I did all the hard work, but you stayed with me and helped me be calm.  I know many people who would not have been able to do that."  She reached for my hand. "I am very lucky to have you.  You are strong and you have enough courage to accept my ways even if you are sometimes afraid and do not always understand."

"I could say the same," I said. "You've accepted a lot of our ways without really understanding them."

"Yes," she said. "But, there is one thing I will never accept, whether I come to understand it or not.  I do not want this stranger...this midwife to be there when our child comes."

"That's okay," I said. "If you don't need her, there's no reason for her to be there."

"I do not want her.  I could never accept such a violation of our spiritual experience."

"You feel that strongly about it?"

"Promise me, Tyler," she said, and her fingers closed so tightly around mine that it left little doubt in my mind just exactly how strong her feelings on the subject were.  "Promise there will be no strangers when our new baby comes."

"I promise," I said.

"The first hands to touch her will be yours and mine."

"Yes, just our hands.  No strangers," I assured her.  Then, with a jolt of surprise, I realized what she'd said.  "Her?"

"Or him," Sini said.

"Are we having a girl?"

"Do you want to know?"

"You can't just leave me hanging," I said.

"Before Skyla came, you had very noble ideas about how it did not matter whether our child was a girl or a boy."

"It still doesn't," I said.  "You know I already love our child, no matter what, but you can't just drop a hint like that and then not tell me for sure."

"Perhaps you should guess," she said.

She was still holding my hand, although her grip on it had eased, and she guided it so that my palm rested against her belly.  I have to say, I'm amazed at how much of a bump has developed there over the last couple of weeks. It seems that in almost no time at all, her belly has gone from practically flat to decidedly curved.   It's hardly what I'd call a prominent bump yet, but I'm sure it's enough to be noticeable when people look at her, especially with her tendency to wear form-fitting clothes.

I gently patted the spot where she'd placed my hand. "If I had your sixth sense, maybe I'd already know."

"But you do not have it, so you must guess."

"I think you like making me guess things," I said.

"You have a very good chance of being right."

"About fifty-fifty, I'd say."

"Well?"

"Girl," I said. 

Sini laughed her musical laugh.  "You want it to be a girl!" she said, apparently delighted to have discovered was I was thinking.  "To me, you are practically broadcasting anticipation.  You can say that it does not matter, but now I know."

"Am I right?  Is it a girl?"

"Will you be disappointed if it is a boy?"

"You know I won't," I said.  "I hope you can feel that, too."

"I can," she said. "Before I tell you if you are right, are you absolutely certain you want to know?"

I considered it for a minute, since she was giving me the chance.  In hindsight, I'm glad I did think it over.  Anticipation is half the fun in waiting for a surprise, and my 'noble ideas' about it not making one bit of difference whether we're having a boy or a girl still hold true.

"You know what?  Don't tell me. If I don't know, I can still daydream for a while about having another beautiful girl," I said, and then added playfully. "Our little Scarlett."

"Banana," she said.    

I tried not to laugh, honestly, but my effort was in vain.  I said,  "We'll have to decide on a name eventually, you know."

"I know," she said. "But not today.  I would like to daydream for a while longer, too."

"Fair enough," I said.  "There's one thing I really want you to tell me about the baby, though."

"What is it?"

"It is just one baby, right?  We're not having twins?"

"No," she said. "We are not having twins."

"Oh good," I said, relieved.  Then, realizing how that might've sounded, I hastened to add, "Not that I wouldn't have been happy if we were having twins.  I mean, that'd be all right, but it'd be pretty crazy, and...well...you know."

Sini giggled. "You are so funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny."

"If it makes you feel better, I am also glad we are not having twins," she said.  "Twins are so rare among my people that it is always a case where a mother needs medical attention.  If we were having twins, that might be...problematic."

I had to agree with her about that.  Twins would indeed be problematic, and more difficult circumstances are the last thing we need. Knowing that we wouldn't have to be concerned about the myriad complications twins would bring to our lives lifted a burden of worry from my mind that I hadn't even fully realized I was carrying.  I'm sure that if we were having twins we'd find a way to manage somehow, but I'm much more confident in our ability to cope with a single new addition.  

Sini seemed to feel better after our talk, and I'll confess that I did too.  I'm really glad that Sini and I can talk to each other about anything.  The conversations we have aren't always easy or pleasant ones, but the important thing is that we are having them.  Sometimes I feel bad for couples who don't communicate the way Sini and I do.  I think that not being able to tell your partner how you feel or not being able to ask a question for fear your partner will judge you must create a lot of anxiety and frustration.  Relationships are complex enough when there aren't any communication difficulties.  I can't imagine adding that extra layer of stress of not being able to talk to your partner when you need to.

Sini and I decided that we felt a little awkward about hanging around the house, given what was happening upstairs.  We were in the mood for some fresh air and sunshine anyway, so we rounded up Pax and Skyla and headed for the park.  As things turned out, our trip to the park was a fortuitous event.  We encountered some of Pax's friends who'd just gotten home from school and were starting up an informal soccer game, so Pax hurried off to play with them.  We were only too happy to see him running around with his friends. He was pretty excited about Lucy's imminent arrival, and we figured everyone would benefit if he burned off some energy.

While the kids played soccer, Sini and I chatted with our neighbour, Priya, who was there with her daughter, Rajani.  Priya does something with computer programming and she works from home, so she's always around when Rajani gets out of school.  We often see them at the park.

When the soccer game eventually wound down, Priya invited us to come and have supper with her and Rajani, and we agreed.  Pax and Sini both love the things Priya cooks.  The spices don't agree with me, but I never complain about it.  Anyway, by the time we'd finished supper, socialized a bit and helped Priya clean up her kitchen, it was early evening.  When we finally made our way back to our house, we were met at the door by an exuberant Cassie who informed us that our household had grown by one.   

Sini and I didn't get to meet Lucy until this afternoon.  Everyone was respectful of Rommie's privacy and her need to rest, so we all left her and Michael and Lucy to themselves last night.   Rommie was up and around for a little while today, though, so we were able to be properly introduced to our newest family member.

This evening, I got to hold my niece for the first time.  Lucy is absolutely beautiful in my opinion.  She's quite chubby for a newborn and she has the tiniest, most perfect little hands.  When I touched her palm with my fingertip, she curled her little hand around my finger. 

Rommie said I looked more comfortable holding Lucy than Michael does.  I wasn't surprised by that, although I'd never say so out loud.  I'll bet even Xander looks more comfortable with Lucy in his arms than Michael does.

I wonder if my brother will ever settle into parenthood, and I worry that his lack of enthusiasm for the role will eventually be the undoing of his and Rommie's relationship.   Sini thinks I'm overreacting.  She says Michael is just nervous about being a new father.  Nervous he may be, but that shouldn't stop him from connecting with his kids.   I was nervous with Skyla for a little while too, but I loved her and helped take care of her from the very first moments of her life.

Whenever I compare myself with Michael like this, Sini is fond of reminding me that my brother and I are two very different people, and the way I think and feel and react isn't going to be the same as Michael's way.  I have to concede that point to her.  Michael and I are different.   Neither of us are perfect and we certainly don't have all the answers, but I think there are a few things I know that my brother doesn't.   I think Michael still has a lot to learn about people and relationships, about compassion and unconditional acceptance.   He has a lot to learn about love. 

Sini says no one can truly learn about all those things until they're ready, and I guess she's right about that.  I just wish Michael would be ready to open up his heart and mind enough to start learning it soon.

Maybe Lucy will be the key that unlocks him.   We can only hope.

I guess an appropriate way to end this post is with a photo of my brother's family.   Sapphire likes the adage that a picture is worth a thousand words, so here are a thousand words for you.  I'll let you decide what those thousand words might say.

A Child Shall Lead

It's been a crazy month so far,  and when I say crazy I really mean that.

Ever have one of those times when you feel like your mind is so full of stuff to deal with that you think your brain might explode?  I was seriously having one earlier this evening.   If it hadn't been for Pax, things might've been a whole lot worse, too.   This story has a better ending, thanks to him. I'm going to tell you all about how Pax helped me today, but I'm afraid I've got to unload some other stuff first.   I don't usually use this space as somewhere to vent, but there are a few things I have to get off my chest, so please bear with me, okay?

Thing number one: school.   While this isn't my most pressing concern, it is my most immediate one.  I started law school on 9th September, and to say that I'm nervous about the year ahead would be a huge understatement.   Now, I imagine some of you might be thinking, he's a pretty smart guy and he survived an undergraduate degree, so this shouldn't be too hard for him.  I thought the same thing until I received my book list a couple of weeks before school started.

None of my books are available in Braille.  That upset me a little at first because I like to be independent and I prefer to read things for myself but, after a little thought and a second look at the email containing my book list, I realized not having my books in Braille might actually be a good thing.  There are five mandatory full-year classes I have to take between now and next April, plus a half-year course on legal research and writing, and another half-year one on statutory interpretation.  Upon reflection, I'm not sure we'd have room around here for a full set of first-year law books in Braille.

I've arranged with the university to get my texts in electronic format so that I can use the screen reading software on my computer to listen to them.  I read most of the books for my undergrad degree that way, and although it was frustrating at times and I thought longingly of nice, simple, quiet Braille, it beat the third alternative, which would've been to have somebody read my textbooks to me.

What worries me at the moment about my books is the sheer volume of reading I have to get through.  I don't know how I'm going to find the time to get it all done.  I'm also a little worried about completing assignments.  I have a bad feeling that I'm going to need lots of help in the library because I doubt many of the law books I'll need to do research will be available in alternative formats.  When I met with the guy from Disability Support Services at the university, he suggested that I hire a tutor or 'academic assistant' as he called it.  Theoretically, this person would be paid to read to me, take notes for me and help me look things up in the library.  It sounded quite awful and I'm still not sure if I want an academic assistant.  Of course, it may be a moot point, because I don't think I can afford that anyway.

Which brings me to the second part of my rant.

Thing number two: money.   We need more of it.

I've got my student loan to pay for my tuition and books and miscellaneous stuff, but the money from my loan isn't nearly enough to live on.  I still have my job at the music store, but I had to go back to part-time hours when school started, and that's not going to leave us with much money at the end of each month either.   Lest you should think Sapphire lets us live here for free, let me disabuse you of that notion.   She's a very generous lady and she has a big heart, but there are a lot of people living here and there's no way she could support us all.   Each single adult or, in the case of Michael and me, the wage-earner in each family, has to contribute something to help pay for the household expenses.  Then, we all have our own individual expenses like personal care items, clothes, stuff for the kids and, in my case,  stupidly expensive prescription medications. 

There's really no way for us to get more money right now, so I think we're going to have to rework our budget.   I'm not going to be allowed to buy any music or non-school-related books until next spring and as much as I know Sini will hate this, she and Pax won't be allowed to buy as much junk food as they do now.  We probably won't be able to go to movies or the mall very often, either.  I'm sure there are other ways we can save, but I'll have to talk to Sini about it.  Unfortunately, I don't think we're going to have a very fun winter this year. 

And speaking of not having fun, let me tell you about my biggest problem. 

Thing number three:  my parents, or more specifically, my mother.   She's driving me insane and I'm not even joking when I say that I'm thinking about disassociating myself from her entirely.   I mean, I love my mother, but I think she's finally crossed the line.  There are just some things that I'm not willing to put up with, and the way my mother behaves toward my wife and kids is one of those.   Sini wasn't far off the mark when she referred to Mum as her monster-in-law. 

Mum and Dad phoned this evening to see how Sini and I are doing.  We put the phone on speaker and they did too, so all four of us could join in the conversation.    We said that we're fine and that we'd been on a weekend trip with Sapphire earlier in the month, and that I'm getting along okay in law school so far.   Then, we told them about the baby.   Dad was pretty excited to have his suspicions confirmed.  From what I could tell, he's over the moon about having another grandchild (or two?) on the way.

My mother, on the other hand, seemed less than thrilled about it, which was pretty much what I'd predicted.   The first words out of her mouth after hearing our announcement were, "That's irresponsible of you, don't you think?"

"What?" I said.

"You can't afford another child.  You're going to school and you're only working part-time, and you've got all those bills to pay off.   Having a baby now isn't practical."

I didn't bother to say that I'm more than fully aware of our present financial difficulties.  I said, "Practical or not, we're having one."

"Have you thought about your living situation?  Are you planning to stay in that crazy house with all those people?  Because if you are, I don't think that's a very appropriate place for a new baby."

"First of all, this is not a crazy house," I said.  "It's our home and we're not leaving.  Secondly, in case you forgot, you've got another son and daughter-in-law with a baby on the way, and they're living in this house.  But, I don't suppose you had this conversation with Michael, did you?"

"I didn't have to," Mum said.  "Your brother is a responsible person."

"What are you talking about?  I'm a responsible person, too."

"Michael is going to work full time so that he can look after his family," Mum said.  "Fortunately, Andromeda is a sensible young woman, and she's decided that when the baby is old enough to be left with someone else, she's going to look for work too."  

All of that was news.  Michael hadn't breathed a word about any of it to me, and I couldn't quite process the revelation coming from our parents.  Michael, Dylan and I go to the university together every morning.  if anyone had asked me, I would've said he was in school, but I guess he's only been keeping up appearances.  The idea that he'd get on the bus to campus with Dylan and me each day and then leave for his job after the three of us parted ways was utterly mind-blowing.

I said to my mother, "Michael's giving up graduate school for full-time hours at the bookshop?"

"Yes, for now, but he'll be looking for better work, which is what you should be doing as well."

"Better work as in...what?  A job at a call center or something?"

"A call center job would certainly pay more than the minimum wage you're getting in retail."

Eddie pays me more than minimum wage.  Not a lot more, but every little bit makes a difference. I didn't tell my mother that, of course.  What I said was, "I'm not giving up the job I have now.  I'm going to graduate from law school first, and then I'll have better work."

Almost before I'd finished getting my own words out, Sini said, "Mrs. Brightman, we are living our lives the way we choose, and your opinions will not change our choices.  Tyler will not give up school, and I assure you that I will not leave my babies with anyone."

"Well, I wouldn't expect you to leave your babies, Sini," said my mother. "You could hardly go out and get a job in the real world, could you?"

"I could if I wanted to," Sini told her. "Before I came here I had a very important job, but I prefer to care for my children now.  I have many qualifications, but it is not the way of my people for mothers to leave their children and go to work.   Our children are our work."

"Well, it's very good that you have that attitude," said my mother. "I don't suppose you could really leave your children with someone else anyway.    I mean, Skyla isn't exactly normal, is she?  Can you imagine people's reactions? And what if this new one ends up even less normal? It'd be--"

"Mum, that's enough," I said.

"It's more than enough," said my father.  "Julia, I think you need to apologize for--"

"For having an opinion?" said my mother, cutting him off.   "For being concerned about our son?"

"Concerned?" I echoed. "Concerned?  If you were really concerned, you'd help us and encourage us instead of criticizing me and talking about my wife and kids like they're sub-human or something.  You know, you're just like Grandpa Mike."

"What is that supposed to mean?"  demanded my mother.

"We're hanging up now," I said.  "Please don't call us any more."

"But--" my father interjected.

"Not you, Dr. Brightman," said Sini.  "You may call us any time you like."

"Goodbye, Dad," I said.  "We love you." 

I wish we'd only talked to Dad.  I wouldn't have been so upset when I hung up the phone, and I wouldn't have spent the following several minutes trying to console Sini who'd crumpled to the floor, sobbing and trembling, the moment our call ended.   I knelt down beside her and gathered her close, but there wasn't much else I could do.  To be honest, I felt like crying too.  I tried to keep my hurt and anger under control so Sini wouldn't feel it, but even though I admonished myself to think happy thoughts as much as possible, the presence of my wife crying in my arms drove my mind repeatedly back to the same furious refrain: This is all my mother's fault.

I stroked Sini's hair and sang to her, hoping to calm myself with the song too.   I've discovered that it's hard to concentrate on anything else when I'm singing, and even if it doesn't exactly make me feel better, at least it stops me from focusing on why I feel so bad.   I don't know any songs as beautiful as the ones from Sini's world, and my singing voice isn't as nice as hers, but I did the best I could. 

I'm gonna love you like nobody's loved you
Come rain or come shine;
High as a mountain and deep as a river,
Come rain or come shine.

I guess when you met me
It was just one of those things,
But don't you ever bet me
'Cause I'm gonna be true if you let me.

You're gonna love me like nobody's loved me
Come rain or come shine;
Happy together, unhappy together,
And won't that be fine?

Days may be cloudy or sunny,
We're in or we're out of the money,
But I'm with you always.
I'm with you rain or shine.

After a while Sini quieted.   The effort of regaining control over her vehement tears seemed to have exhausted her and she went completely limp, slumping against my chest with a weary sigh.   She stayed like that for a few minutes longer, but then she pulled away from me and said she wanted to go up to our room and lie down.   When I asked her if she wanted me to come with her, she said no.   She wanted to be alone.   I could respect her need to be by herself, but it's so rare for her to want to be completely alone that I couldn't help being a little worried.    Nevertheless, I let her go.   I said I'd come up and check on her later.

She left me sitting on the floor next to the small telephone stand in the living room.   I'm not sure how long I sat there, but that was the spot I was occupying when Pax found me.  I'd heard him making his way up from the basement where, presumably, he'd been playing video games with Dylan and Beau in their room, but i hadn't paid much attention until he came over and dropped down beside me.

"Hi, Pax," I said. "Were you having fun downstairs?"

"Yes," he said.

"It'll be your bedtime soon."

"Bath first," he said.  "Then a story."

"How about a story first?  We can read it down here, okay?"

"Why?"

"Sini needs some time by herself, and she's in our room right now," I said.

"Sini get angry at you?"

"No."

"I feel her being angry."

"She is angry, but it's nothing to do with me."

"I feel you being sad," he said.  "Angry too, but very sad."

"Yeah," I said.

"Why?"

"It's nothing you should worry about." 

"When you feel sad, I feel sad," he said, very softly. 

"I'm sorry," I said. "I wish you didn't have to feel what I feel."

"What happen?"

"Sini and I had a conversation with my mother," I told him. "She said something about Skyla that we thought wasn't very nice."

"I not surprised," Pax said, and there was such cynicism in his voice that I wondered what had happened to our innocent boy all of a sudden.  "She say bad things about everybody.  She not a love person."

"A love person?"

"You know, a love person.  Like you and Sini.  You a love person, because you love everybody."

"Well, maybe not everybody," I said.

"You love her," he said.

"Of course I love her.  She's my mother."

"I not know if I love her.  I know I supposed to, but it very hard."

"It's okay," I said. "She's hard to love, especially if you don't even know if she loves you."
 
"I know she not love me," he said, his tone matter-of-fact.

"Yeah, I guess you would know that, wouldn't you?"

"It not matter," Pax said.  "I remember, Suvi tell me I supposed to love everyone.  She say it not matter if they love me or not.  Suvi know all about that because people not love her, but she love everyone anyway."

From what I've gathered about Pax's mother, I have to say I was surprised to hear that there were people who wouldn't love someone like her.  Of course, I've never met Suvi.  I don't know her,, but I find it difficult to believe that there could be anything unlovable about a woman who raised such a sweet and thoughtful child as Pax. 

"Why don't people love your mother?" I asked, even though I knew I probably shouldn't.

Pax's answer startled me.  He said, "Because she blue."

"What?"

"Suvi blue," he said. "Like Sini."

"What difference does that make?" I asked.

"People say bad things about Suvi because she not green," he said.  "She beautiful blue, like the ocean, but they say she not pretty.  They say they not know why Piri and Jex choose a blue person, because everybody knows green people more smart and pretty than blue people.  They say I look green, but I not really green because I have a blue mother."  He paused for a couple of seconds and then, with a slight tremble in his voice, he added,  "I feel sad when they say that." 

My god, I thought. Racism?  It hadn't occurred to me that blue and green might not be merely Erisan skin colour variations, but that they might also represent something more socially significant.  I suppose that wherever you've got people, you're going to have prejudice, but I assumed that a society with next to no crime wouldn't have discrimination either.   Thinking about in in hindsight, though, I guess it makes sense that Eris would have some similar social ills to those of Earth.  Erisans are passionate and emotional people.  It stands to reason that they'd have strong opinions about lots of things, including whether it's better to be green or to be blue.   I filed that idea away for a future conversation with Sini.

I said, "I'm sorry that happened to you and your mother, Pax."

"Me too," he said.  "Know what I think?"

"What?"

"Green not better.  It just different."

"You know what?  That's a very wise thought for you to have," I said.  "I think you're right."

"Know what else Suvi say?"

"What else did she say?"

"She say it important that Jex and Piri love her and I love her.   If all the other green people not love her, that not important," Pax said.  "I think, if your mother not love Skyla, that not important either.   You and Sini love Skyla, right?"

"Of course we do.  We love you and Skyla very much."

"I love you and I love Skyla," he said.  "We the important people."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But, I want my mother to love Skyla too."

"It impossible to get what you want sometimes," Pax said philosophically.  He sighed. "I want jellybeans for breakfast but Sini always says no."

Despite how I was feeling, I couldn't help laughing out loud at that.  I held out my arms to him nad he came willingly for a hug.   It felt good to hug him and to know that I was being loved.  I was amazed when I realized how important Pax has become to me in such a short time.  Six months ago when he first showed up on our doorstep, I didn't even want to let him touch me, and now I was embracing him and wholeheartedly thinking of him as my adopted son.

Love really does transcend everything; colour, age, gender...everything.  Even planet of origin. 

"Pax," I said. "Have I told you lately how glad I am to have you around?"

"You can tell me now," he said.

"I'm really glad you're here," I said.  "My life is so much better with you in it.   You and me and Sini and Skyla really are the important people."

"You feel better now, right?"

I smiled.  "Can't you tell?"

"Yes, but Sini say it important for humans to tell me how they feel."

"I do feel a little better," I said.  "Thanks to you."

"Only a little better?"

"There are a lot of things I need to think about.   Maybe I'll feel better when I figure some stuff out."

"Okay," Pax said.  He let go of me, and stood up.  A second later, he was tugging on my hand. "Come and have ice cream.  That fix everything."

if only it could, I thought, but I followed him out to the kitchen anyway.   Normally, I wouldn't let Pax eat ice cream so close to his bedtime, and I don't usually eat anything after supper either, but tonight I was willing to make an exception.   We built ourselves a pair of massive sundaes that consisted of vanilla ice cream topped with Smarties, chocolate sauce, sliced bananas, strawberries, and an embarrassingly huge amount of Cool Whip.   Pax put some raisins, mixed nuts and jellybeans on his as well, but I declined all of those.   What I had in my bowl already was enough to cause me more trouble than I needed but, just then, I chose not to dwell on any future pain.  I was going to enjoy my dessert in the moment, and consequences be damned. 

As Pax and I sat at the dining room table with our ice cream, I mulled over the things he'd said and I marvelled at how the most profound ideas sometimes come from the most unexpected sources.  When people talk about the wisdom of children, they must be talking about kids like Pax.  He teaches me things all the time, and I'm grateful for that.   One of my wishes for humankind is that everyone could have at least one encounter with an observant, caring child like Pax and, when they do, they would be open-minded enough to learn what that child has to teach.  

The Return Of Banana Brightman

Remember back in July when we were all contributing to that name list for Rommie and Michael's baby?   Yeah, that list; the one that inspired colourful monikers like Vanilla, Diamond, and the ever-popular Banana.   As things turned out, we were all working hard for nothing, because Michael and Rommie have chosen a name for their daughter that wasn't even on the list.     They've decided to call her Lucy Anastasia.  I don't know how they decided on Lucy, but I know Anastasia was the name of Rommie's mother.   Rommie, Xander and Cassie lost both their parents six years ago, and I guess this is Rommie's way of honouring her mother's memory.    

Lucy is due to arrive at the end of September, although Rommie keeps telling everyone that she could be here any day now.   Jack and Cleo came early so I guess she figures Lucy might, too.  Michael is absolutely freaking out which, in my opinion, is hilarious to watch.  He's so not ready for this kid and it shows.

You guys probably think I'm a terrible brother for laughing at him, and I'll admit that it is kind of uncharitable of me to find amusement in his distress, but it's not as if he didn't have time to prepare himself.   I'd have more sympathy for him if he'd done everything he could to get ready, but he's been pretty much disinterested in Lucy until now.  On top of all that, it's not like he wouldn't laugh at me if our roles were reversed.   Of course, the difference between Michael and me is that I'm paying attention to what's happening with my wife and child.  I may be scared, but I'm not going to lose my mind and become utterly useless because I have no clue what's going on. 

Anyway, now that Michael and Rommie are officially done picking names, the household has turned its collective attention to Sini and me.    We decided to tell everyone our news the day before we left for our trip to the mainland.  Our announcement was met with congratulations and plenty of enthusiasm from our friends.   Pax is beside himself with excitement, needless to say, and he's been going around informing everybody about how happy he is that his wish for a baby brother or sister is coming true.

The only people we haven't told yet are my parents.  I doubt it'll come as much of a surprise to Dad, but I really have no idea how Mum is going to take it and, to be honest, I'm not particularly anxious to find out.  Her reaction when we shared that we were expecting Skyla wasn't exactly warm and joyful.  In fact, that encounter left Sini in tears and me in a mood so vile that I vowed never to speak to my mother again.   I forgave her eventually, like I always do, and obviously we're still on speaking terms.  She is my mother, after all.

But, enough about my parents.  I was talking about names.   We've insisted that it's too early to start thinking about names yet, but that hasn't stopped anyone form offering up their ideas.  Since we can't discourage our friends from contributing baby names, we've started a new list.   My favourites so far are Scarlett - one of Beau's suggestions - and Nathaniel.    Unfortunately, Sini is opposed to the idea of calling our baby Scarlett for the purely practical reason that he or she might end up being blue.   Personally, I kind of like the irony of a blue person named Scarlett, but Sini doesn't see the humour in it at all.

Since we're probably not going to be writing out a birth announcement for Scarlett, we're open to other suggestions.   If any of you guys out there want to share some of your ideas, we'll consider those as well.   No food names, though, please.  I think we've had enough of those, and I'm pretty sure you can guess where they came from. 

Yeah, if you guessed Pax, you guessed correctly.  From the guy who brought us Banana and Cash Flow, we now have Jellybean, Noodle, Rainbow and Denim.   I quite like Denim, but we've pretty much consigned the others to the reject pile.   I mean, seriously, Rainbow Brightman?  There's no way that's ever going to happen.

As it turns out, the penchant for coming up with off-the-wall names isn't limited to Pax.   I hadn't realized before now that Sini also has a taste for the bizarre.  This never really came up when Skyla was on the way.  As I might've mentioned before, Skyla was totally unplanned. We were so frightened and so overwhelmed by everything we had to deal with that we didn't actually discuss what to name her until the day after she was born.  It's different this time.   Even though this baby was unplanned too, we know what we're in for.  We're more experienced now, and the fact that Sini is feeling reasonably well this time makes the situation far less stressful for both of us.  We're in a better frame of mind to relax and enjoy all the things we didn't even think about when we were expecting Skyla. 

Yesterday afternoon, I was helping Sini fold our laundry and we were chatting about, of all things, baby showers.  Sini wants to have one.   One of our neighbours down the street is also expecting, and she invited Sini, Rommie, Cassie and Sapphire to her shower.   She invited Hunter as well, but Hunter doesn't do cute afternoon tea parties.  This was a 'Jack and Jill' baby shower, which meant Michael and I got invited too.  We went, but I'm not sure what the point was.  All the women and girls played the party games and exclaimed over the cute baby gifts, while all of us guys basically hung out in the kitchen eating up all the snacks and talking about music, video games and who we think has the best chance of winning the Stanley Cup next year.   Just for the record, the Boston Bruins get my vote.

Anyway, at this baby shower, the ladies played a game called 'What's My Name?'  The way it works is that everyone writes two names  - one for a boy and one for a girl - on a piece of paper.  All the papers go into a basket and get shuffled around.  Then, each person pulls out one paper and reads the names on it, and everyone else has to guess who contributed them. Sini was disappointed that everyone guessed her names right away, but it seems that they were so unusual, it wasn't difficult to know where they'd originated.

"I do not want to play that game at our baby shower," Sini said.

"Our baby shower?"

"It will be for women and men, just like our friend Amelia's baby shower.  You do not like that idea?"

"It's fine with me," I said, "As long as you don't mind all the guys being in a separate room like we were at Ben and Amelia's house."

"I am sure I will get over the disappointment," she said.

"So, if you're not going to play that game, what games are you going to play?"

"I do not know yet, but Rommie will help me think of some.  I do not expect it will be any use to ask you?"

"No," I said. "It won't."

"It is okay. It does not matter right now.   We have time to plan this, and maybe you will think of something later."

"You never know.  Maybe I'll even change my mind and play the games with you."

Sini made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "And maybe it will snow in July next year."

"Is that sarcasm, Mrs. Brightman?"

"I am learning from the master," she said mildly.

I laughed out loud at that.  Sini isn't the only one who's referred to me as the master of sarcasm, but it never feels like a compliment when it comes from other people.  Coming from my wife, however, it felt like honest praise.   I realize my feelings were probably a product of infatuation, but I don't care. 

Sini must've sensed my emotional reaction, because our laundry was momentarily forgotten as she came over and slipped her arms around me.  A moment later, her fingers were tangled in my hair and she was kissing me with what I can only describe as zeal.

"Wow," I said, once I'd caught my breath. "What was that for?"

"I like how that made you feel," she said.  "I should insult you more often."

"You should kiss me like that more often."

"Maybe I will.   I like how that made you feel, too."  

"Sounds like a win-win scenario to me," I said. 

She laughed and gave me a peck on the chin. "We will explore the possibilities later.  Now, we need to finish our chores."

"Do we have to?"

She didn't answer.  She simply let go of me and went back to folding clothes.  I guessed she was feeling pretty happy, because she started singing to herself.  I recognized the melody as a lullaby she often sings to Skyla and, occasionally, to me.  I don't understand the words, but I like the tune.   Some day, I'm going to ask her to translate it for me.

I didn't interrupt her from her singing.  She has an amazing voice and I love listening to her.   She finished her lullaby and began to hum something else, but halfway through, she stopped.

"What is it?" I said.

"Nothing.  I am thinking."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes.  I am fine."

"What were you thinking about?"

"The baby," she said. 

"Oh? What about him?"

"Names," she said.  "I was thinking about the game, and then I started thinking about names."

"Everyone's thinking about names," I said. 

"Yes.  I know we said it is too soon to think about that, but it is hard not to.  There was Amelia's game, and now all our friends want to give us suggestions, too." she said.  "Do you think Michael and Rommie would mind if we added some names to our list that were on their list?"

"Probably not," I said.  "Especially now that they've picked one.  What names did you have in mind?"

"Banana," she said. 

For a second, I thought I'd misheard her, and I said, "Excuse me?"

"Banana."

"Please tell me you're joking," I said.  "Anyway, that wasn't even on the real list, and...you are joking, right?"

"No, I am not.  I thought it was silly at first, but now I like it.  What is the phrase?  It has grown on me.  I like how it sounds."

Sini, we are not naming our child Banana."

"Why?" she said.  "I think it is pretty.  It is very musical."

"No,"  I said. "Just...no." 

"It sounds like other Earth names.  Like Hannah and Diana."

"Yeah, but when I meet somebody named Diana, I don't immediately think of something I slice and serve with my breakfast cereal.  We can't name our kid Banana.  It'd just be too weird."

"But you do not think Denim is a strange name?  You would name our child after clothes but not food?"

"Touché," I said.  

Sini snorted, her all-purpose sound of dismissal.  "You know, if we cannot agree on an Earth name, there is an elegant solution."

"Why do I always worry when you say that?"

"We can give our child an Erisan name.   That way, no one on Earth would know if we decided to name our child after food or clothes."

"Do Erisans do that?  Name their kids after inanimate objects?"

"My name means the sky," she said.  "Pax's mother is called Suvi, and her name means sunshine."

"Okay, so the answer is yes."

"Yes."

"Any suggestions, then?"

"When my sister and I were little girls, we used to pretend we were grown up with our own families," she said.  "We made a very detailed world for ourselves in our imaginations.  In my imaginary world, I was not in a trio like our parents.  I had only one partner, and we had a beautiful daughter together.  Her name was Kiva."

"Kiva.  That's pretty," I said.

"Yes, and that is what it means," Sini told me. "Beautiful.  I would rock my doll sometimes and pretend she was my Kiva.  I liked to call her Ki, for a...pet name.  Is that the proper Earth word?"

"A pet name or a nickname."

"Yes, a nickname.  Ki means pretty or...lovely?  Not beautiful, but still something that makes you want to smile when you see it."

"Cute?" I guessed.

"Yes."  

"So, you called your doll Ki, like Pax's invisible friend?"

Sini laughed. "I had not thought of that," she said.  "I think Pax would be very happy if we named our baby Kiva."

"What if it's a boy, though?  I assume Kiva is a girl's name."

"Yes.  We will have to think some more about names for a boy," she said, and then after a pause, she added. "Although I still think you are being unreasonable not to consider Banana."

"If we keep Banana on the list, we have to keep Denim too," I said. "Food and clothes, to be fair."

"Very well.  To be fair," she said.  "But, if we ask, I think everyone will agree that Banana Brightman sounds more pretty than Denim Brightman."

"Let's not ask," I said.

That earned me a gentle but well-aimed swat with whatever piece of laundry my darling wife was folding at the time.   We opted to change the subject after that, since the name debate wasn't likely to be resolved in the living room over a basket of freshly laundered pants and t-shirts.

When I told Sapphire about our naming woes, she seemed to think the whole thing was totally funny.  She said that we're probably the only parents in the world who could generate so much uproar over whether or not to name our baby after a piece of fruit.  I said that if I'd fathered a child with a human woman, we wouldn't even be having a discussion about calling him Banana, because no Earth person I know would want their kid to go through life with a handle like that.  Of course, I don't want to be with a human woman, or any other woman for that matter.   Sini is the only woman for me.  It's just that our cultural differences can create a lot of weirdness sometimes. 

I do feel somewhat gratified after my chat with Sapphire, though.  She likes Denim as a name for a boy, although she did suggest that we should consider some more traditional names.  She showed me this interesting web site, so now we don't have to rely solely on our friends and our own imaginations to come up with possible choices.

Oh, and before I forget, Sapphire thought you guys might find this entertaining.  I wasn't all that amused to pose for it, but given the subject of this post, I guess I can see how it's appropriate.  Maybe some of you need to laugh today.

I doubt this is the last you'll hear of this topic.   I'm hoping Sini and I can come up with something that both of us like, especially if we really are having twins as Sini seems to be hinting.   Banana Brightman is strange enough.  I don't want to think about what Sini might want to name his brother.

We Have A Winner!

This is a Pax story.   I know I tell you guys a lot of Pax stories, but it seems like most of the amusing things that happen around here have something to do with Pax.  Besides, everyone's always saying how cute he is, and really, who can resist a cute alien?  

Like many things in modern life, this story begins with the internet.  More specifically, it begins with internet shopping.  Rommie isn't the only one around here who enjoys shopping online.  Sapphire is into it as well, and back in July she bought some presents for us from this online shop.  Okay, so it was mostly presents for Sini and Pax, but I got a shirt and I think Michael might've gotten something too.  I heard so many complaints from Rommie about Sini's new skintight jeans, mini-skirt and bright yellow leggings that I wondered if she really didn't like them or if it was her way of complaining that she didn't get anything.   Personally, I rather like Sini's yellow leggings.  I'm not too concerned with the colour - a shade which Rommie has alternately described as 'shocking' and 'eye-burning' - but I like the way she looks in them. (Yes, I've checked in my own way.)

But, enough about my wife's yellow pants.  I'm sure you guys don't want me to wander too far down that road, anyway.   Let me  get back to telling you what all this online shopping has to do with Pax.

Because this shop had a special event going on during the month of July, Sapphire got her name entered into a draw to win a prize.  A few weeks ago, the shop owner contacted her to tell her that she'd won.  Sapphire says she's not usually a lucky person, so this was a pretty big deal for her.  The prize was a complete outfit from the shop; a special surprise outfit, no less.  Since we're trying to encourage Pax to conform to our clothing-related customs, Sapphire decided this prize should be for him.  If he was excited about getting some new clothes, chances were good that he'd want to wear them.   So, she asked the shop owner if the prize could be for Pax, and the lady agreed.

Just as we predicted, Pax was practically filled to bursting with glee when he found out that he was going to receive a special surprise that was made just for him.  He checked the mail box every day to see if his package was there.   Sini and I both told him that he'd have to be patient, but that didn't stop him from trying to stalk the mailman down our street on a few occasions. 

His package still hadn't arrived by the time Sini and I left for our trip last Friday.   We got back last night and were informed by a very disappointed Pax that it still hadn't arrived.  Today, however, we woke up to discover a boy in a vastly different mood.   Sini and I were still in bed this morning when Pax came flying into the room yelling, "It is here!  It is here!"

"Inside voice..." I groaned into my pillow.  Beside me, Sini mumbled something in Erisan that might've been a swear word.

"I so happy!"  Pax said gleefully.  "I got a surprise!"

I should've been more attentive to him, I'll admit, but as you guys know, I don't do mornings.  I said, "What time is it?"

"Time to get up!" Pax practically shouted in my ear.

"Pax, seriously, keep your voice down," I grumbled.

I reached out a hand and groped for the alarm clock.  When I found it and pressed the little button on top, the clock's cheerful synthesized voice announced that it was 8:57a.m.   Urgh.  I could've slept in for another hour or so, at least.  I was on the schedule for the later shift at the store today and I didn't have to be at work until two o'clock. 

"Get up, please," Pax begged.  "I want to see my surprise."

"Why don't you ask Sapphire to help you open it?" I said.  "She'll probably want to take pictures anyway."

"You come too," he said, grabbing my hand and trying to haul me out of bed. "Please?"

On the other side of me, Sini shifted around and gave me a none-too-gentle poke in the ribs.  "Get up, Tyler.   Go with him, please.   I need to sleep more than you do, and you are both keeping me awake."

I know when I'm beaten.

 "Okay," I said. "But, I just want you to know this isn't fair."

"Go," Sini said.

"Your wish is my command," I said.   I leaned over to give her a quick kiss, and then I dragged myself out of bed.

By the sound of things, Pax was hopping up and down on one foot.  "Come, Tyler!  Hurry!"

"Give me a minute.  I have to check on Skyla, first," I said.

Skyla isn't a morning person either, and when I checked on her I found that she was still sleeping.  I debated about whether or not I should wake her.  In the end I opted to let her sleep.  Sini was still in the room, so she'd be there to take care of Skyla when she woke up.

I followed Pax downstairs.  He led me into the dining room where he pounced on Sapphire and demanded to know what she'd done with his package.   While she was getting it for him, I went out to the kitchen to find a cup of coffee.  I had a feeling I'd need it.

By the time I returned, Pax had his package and was blissfully ignoring Sapphire's attempts to photograph him.

He insisted that he didn't need help getting the package open.  He was going to do it all by himself.

I guessed that everything was well wrapped, because I heard a lot of rustling of plastic. 

"What have you got, Pax?" Sapphire asked him.

"Something yellow and something blue," he said.

"Why don't you unfold them and show me?" she said.  

I heard more crinkling plastic sounds and then Pax exclaimed, "I have yellow pants, just like Sini!" 

Somehow I doubted they were just like Sini's pants.  I couldn't believe that anyone would send pants like that to a boy, and I imagined they were more like jeans than anything else.   I was actually quite relieved when Pax showed them to me and I discovered that I was right.

The next thing he unwrapped was a hoodie.  He described it, "A cool shirt just for me!"

"Do you want to try them on?" Sapphire asked him.

"Yes," he said, but then he seemed to hesitate.  "Wait.  Something else in here."

The 'something else' turned out to be a cute little toy.

"Nobody else playing with this," he informed us. "This mine."

Once we convinced him that his toy would be fine for a few minutes on the dining room table, he decided to try on his new shirt and pants.   Everything fit perfectly.

 

The points of his ears made the hood on his sweater puff out a little, but he didn't seem to mind, and pronounced himself "Cool and awesome!"  when he looked at himself in the hallway mirror.

  

Apparently satisfied that he represented the epitome of Earth fashion, he scampered away to show off his new clothes to everyone.  I stayed downstairs.  There was no way I wanted to be around if he woke Sini up again, and I really didn't want to witness the results of any trip he might make to the attic to visit Xander and Remi's room.  Or Hunter's room.   I hoped that if he did venture up to the attic, he'd steer clear of Hunter's room.  Not a morning person is hardly sufficient to describe Hunter.   I'd say nocturnal would be more like it.   It was a safe bet that she would not appreciate being awakened to view Pax's new outfit.

Pax was still wearing his new clothes when I got home from work tonight.  It took a major effort to convince him to undress for bed, and he refused to go to sleep unless his clothes were folded and placed under his pillow.    Finally, I was able to finish tucking him in.

As I was leaving the room, I heard him whisper, "Good night, clothes.  See you tomorrow."

Kids.  Best source of entertainment ever.

Tyler's Super Amazing Cookies Of Awesomeness

Okay...the honeymoon hasn't been going exactly as I expected.

As honeymoons go, ours probably wasn't going to be the most exciting one anyway, but I'd hoped it'd be a little better than this.   Sini and I decided not to go away right after our wedding because I was still on full-time hours at the store and I'm in the process of getting ready to go back to university, too.   We opted to wait until the Labour Day weekend to travel, and since Sapphire planned to visit her parents that weekend, she offered to let us travel with her.   I love going to the country.  There's plenty of opportunity for outdoor adventure.  Since Sini and I both enjoy the great outdoors, we thought it'd be a nice getaway for us. 

We started off with high hopes.  Sini and I left Skyla and Pax in Rommie's capable hands and we figured that we had nothing to worry about, but I should've known that this trip wouldn't live up to our beautiful expectations when we got onto the ferry to depart Prince Edward Island on Friday afternoon.  Sini said she was feeling great when we left town and she was excited about the trip.  We were both really looking forward to it because Sini has never been here before and I wanted to show her around the village.  Of course, we had plans to do some other things that didn't involve sightseeing and community events, but those haven't come to pass, either.   The ferry crossed the strait in high winds on Friday, and Sini was seasick.  She kept insisting that she'd been on the water dozens of times in her life and she was never seasick before, and maybe that's true, but she certainly didn't cope very well with being on the water this weekend.  

I hoped she'd feel better once we were on dry land again, and she did, but on Saturday morning she felt awful again.  So, not seasickness, then.   Yesterday and today started out pretty much the same.  Every day since we arrived here, Sini hasn't gotten out of bed until noon.

On Saturday, I went with Sapphire to a huge community yard sale.   I wanted to stay with Sini, but she insisted that I should try to have some fun.  I'll admit that I did have fun perusing other people's junk and looking for things that Skyla and Pax might like, but I was still worried about Sini and I was relieved when I finally got back to her.   At the yard sale, we found a desk for Cassie and I discovered a rocking horse that I think the kids are going to love.  Sini thought it was great, too.  It needs some work, but I think it'll be a fun project for us to work on this fall if Sini feels up to it.    Sapphire has photos of our yard sale finds, but she says they're still on her camera, so I'll have to save them for another post.

It rained all day Sunday and I stayed in bed with Sini until lunch time.  In the afternoon, Sapphire convinced me to go with her to the local senior citizens home to visit some people.  I usually love visiting the seniors, but I wasn't really into it this weekend.  I tried to be positive, but I think some of them could tell I wasn't one hundred percent happy.   I was supposed to be there to help brighten their day, but they were the ones who did their best to cheer me up.

It's been raining all day today as well and I was tempted to stay curled up with Sini under our blankets yet again, but Sapphire foiled that plan by coming to the door of our room around half-past seven and informing me that she was doing a charity project and that I should help.   I said that taking care of my wife was my project for the day, but she said I could do that and help her too. Reluctantly, I agreed.

What was Sapphire's project, you ask?  She wanted to make cookies for seniors.  This apparently all came about because nearly every time she's here she makes a special dessert for her father's best friend.  She figured that if she could make something for him, she could make something for other seniors in the community who live alone and might appreciate a treat.  It'd be a good way to bring a smile to somebody's face, she said.

Despite my initial reluctance, I found that I really liked this idea a lot.   I remembered my experience from the day before, and I tried to imagine the older people who would be receiving these cookies.  If I were old and lived alone, I think I'd love to have some friendly visitors and a nice plate of sweets.  I mean, I'd like that now, and I'm neither old nor lonely.  Cookies and friendship just seem to go hand in hand, don't you think?

"I think I'll make my special cookies," I said.

"Which ones are those?" Sapphire asked, as if she didn't know.  I think she just likes to hear me say the name.

I obliged her with, "You know.  My super amazing cookies of awesomeness."

"I think that'll work out great," she said.  "I'll make peanut butter cookies."

Sapphire makes really good peanut butter cookies, just so you know.

"Save me one?"

Sapphire laughed.  "Don't worry.  We're not giving all of them away."

"Awesome," I said.

The cookie flavours having been decided, we got down to business.  Sapphire cranked up the volume on her iPhone and we had some tunes going while we worked.  We were searching the cupboards for our ingredients when Sapphire made a suggestion.

"Tyler," she said. "Do you think your readers would like it if we shared our cookie recipes on your blog?"

"I don't know how many bakers I have in the audience," I said, "but I wouldn't mind sharing the recipe for my cookies.  You never know."

So, that's what the rest of this post is going to be about.

I'll warn you now, this particular recipe makes a lot of cookies.  When I make this recipe, I usually end up with between 65 and 70 cookies, so if you're going to make this, be prepared for the results!   I highly recommend you find the biggest bowl in your kitchen to mix this, because it can get messy with all that flour.  I usually wear an apron when I'm at home, but Sapphire's mother didn't have one that I was comfortable in.  I don't do that whole June Cleaver thing very well, and I wasn't keen on being all decked out in the frilly monstrosities that pass for aprons around here.  I figured my t-shirt and jeans could always be washed.

Anyway, here are the ingredients you're going to need:

2 cups of brown sugar
1 cup of white sugar
1-1/2 cups of shortening
4 eggs
2 teaspoons of coconut flavouring
2 teaspoons of baking soda
1 teaspoon of salt
4 cups of flour
2 cups of dark chocolate chips

You're also going to need a very large bowl, a small bowl, a wooden spoon, measuring cups and spoons, a regular teaspoon, a fork, baking trays, oven mitts or pot holders, and parchment paper.   Optional items for this project include an apron, your CD player or MP3 player (for tunes to sing along with while you're in the kitchen) and a lover, child, sibling or friend (because baking is always more fun with company).

First things first: mix up the ingredients in the order they're listed.   I measure out the two kinds of sugar first, and then I add the shortening.  You need to cream the sugar and shortening together before you start adding other stuff.  If you're anything like me, I had no idea what 'cream together' meant the first time I ever tried to make cookies.  Use your wooden spoon to blend the sugar and shortening together until the whole thing has a nice creamy texture.

Once you've got the sugar and shortening blended, then you can add the eggs and the flavouring.  I always find it best to break my eggs into a small bowl before I add them into the mixture.  Sometimes I accidentally get pieces of shells in there, and I wouldn't want those to end up in my cookies!  For me, this is where the lover, child or friend can be really helpful.   Anyway, once you're satisfied that your eggs are okay, add them to the stuff in the big bowl.   Next, measure out your coconut flavouring and add it to the big bowl too.   If you don't have coconut flavouring at home, you can use vanilla.  The cookies will still taste good.

Next comes the messy part.  Measure out the salt, baking soda and flour and then add them to the mixture in the bowl.   You have to mix it up really well so that you're left with firm dough.   It shouldn't be too sticky, but it shouldn't be dry either.  If your dough feels too wet or sticky, you can add a little more flour.  If it seems too dry and crumbly, you can add just a little bit of water to it.  Be careful not to add too much!  If I have to add water, I do it a tablespoon at a time.

When the dough is at the right consistency, it's time to add the most important part; the chocolate.  For this batch I used a 250-gram packet of dark chocolate chips.  In case you're curious, a 250-gram packet of regular size chocolate chips should equal about 2 cups.   For a fun variation on this, you can use Smarties or M&Ms instead of chocolate chips.  Pax always wants me to make these with Smarties.  I think he likes the rainbow colours.   You can also use white chocolate chips or butterscotch chips.   Xander and Dylan both like them with butterscotch chips.  When I make that variation, I switch the coconut flavouring to rum flavouring (don't tell my mother). 

After the chocolate is mixed in, you get to move on to the next messy part of this operation.  These cookies are rolled by hand.  If you're squeamish about touching the dough with your bare hands, you can wear some of those disposable plastic gloves that the staff at fast-food restaurants wear.  You can buy those at most large supermarket chains.  Dylan is a disposable glove wearer.  Sometimes I wish I could watch him when he does this, because I think it'd be hilarious.  He's my cousin and best guy friend, and I love him, but sometimes I wonder if he might be adopted or something.  He hates not being perfectly clean.   Growing up, when he used to stay with us in the country, he somehow managed to avoid all the dirty chores like mucking out stalls and collecting eggs.   The chores that Michael and I loved were the ones that made Dylan cringe.

But, we were making cookies, so let's get back to that, shall we?

If you're not my cousin Dylan, get your hands in there and start having fun!

Before you get too excited about playing with the dough, though, you should raise the rack in your oven to the highest position and then preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  If you can't see, you might need help with this part.  I know I usually do.   Once I've got the oven started, I line my baking trays with parchment paper. You can get parchment paper at the supermarket.  The parchment helps prevent the bottom of the cookies from scorching and, if you aren't using non-stick baking trays, it'll also keep them from sticking to the tray.

Okay, now is when I start rolling the cookies. I roll out balls of dough that are the right size to fit into the bowl of a regular teaspoon. Using the teaspoon helps me know that I'm not making them too big, and it helps me make them roughly the same size as each other.  If they're different sizes, they won't bake at the same rate, and some of them might burn up before the others are done.

Here's a better idea of what I'm talking about:

I always try to make sure the cookies are evenly spaced when I place them on the tray.  I also try not to put them too close together, because these cookies will spread a little while baking.  If you put them too close together, you could end up with one gigantic cookie.  Of course, that isn't necessarily a bad thing.   I've been known to spread the dough over couple of  parchment-covered pizza pans and make some enormous party cookies.  I did that one for Cassie's birthday.  Rommie drizzled chocolate syrup over the top and she cut it like a pizza to serve to Cassie's birthday party guests.   Was I Mister Popularity after that?  You bet.

After the tray is filled with evenly spaced cookie balls, the next thing to do is flatten them.  I use a fork for this, but you can use a spoon or a spatula or even your hand.

 Press the cookies down with the fork so that they look like this.

Usually I find that by the time I get the first tray done, the oven is heated and ready to put the cookies in.   Sapphire says to remind you that every oven is different, so baking time in your oven might not be the same as in ours.  I bake these for 12-14 minutes.  I can usually judge by the smell when they're done.  Also, if I touch the cookie with the tip of my finger, and it's firm to the touch, I know it is done.  If you're going to use that method, be very careful!  Of course, if you can see, you can probably tell when your cookies start to get golden around the edges.   Sapphire told me to tell you that it's safest to look and not touch.

When the cookies are done, I like to cool them on a cooling rack.  If you don't have one, you can leave them to cool on the baking trays or on a glass plate.

They are great with coffee or a cold glass of milk.

We wrapped up most of these to give away, but I insisted that we keep some for Sapphire's parents and grandmother, and of course I set aside a few for Sini.  I'm hoping I can tempt her into eating them later.  Cookies might not be the healthiest food choice for an expectant mother, but at least it'd be something.   Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy one of these cookies myself.

If you guys make this recipe, I'd love to know how it works out for you.

Catch you later!