Lucy Anastasia Brightman was born last night around seven o'clock, and I'm happy to say that she and Rommie are both doing fine. I can't say the same for Michael, but we're hoping he'll come around.
The whole house was in an uproar yesterday. Rommie decided sometime in the summer that she wanted her baby to be born at home this time and, despite Michael's protests that it would be safer and much more sensible to go to the hospital, Rommie got her own way in the end. Jack and Cleo were born in the hospital, but apparently Rommie hadn't liked the atmosphere there. She said the hospital was cold and impersonal and she thought that having this baby at home and being attended by a midwife would be a far less stressful experience for her.
Back when she first decided this, and Michael disagreed with her, they asked me for my opinion on it. I didn't really want to get involved, but I said that I could see how going to the hospital would be stressful. With my various medical problems, I've spent a lot of time in hospitals during my life. My instinct is to avoid them whenever possible.
I think they really asked for my opinion because Skyla was born at home. That had nothing to do with any aversion to hospitals on either Sini's part or mine, although in hindsight I think it was probably a good thing Sini wasn't attended by a doctor. Sini and Pax's presence on our planet isn't a secret by any means, but aside from surprised reactions or the occasional uninformed remark, most of the people around our neighbourhood don't seem to make a big deal of the fact that Pax and Sini are not like us. If a medical professional ever got a proper look at them, though, I'm pretty sure the presence of aliens on our world wouldn't remain an understated fact for very long.
One of my worst fears is that Sini or Pax will get injured or seriously ill and actually need professional medical attention some day. I have that worry for Skyla too, although I've taken Skyla to my family doctor before without incident. Aside from mild curiosity over Skyla's eye colour and the the shape of her ears, Dr. Cho didn't seem to think anything else was out of the ordinary. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have the same reaction to Pax or Sini. I don't know how we'd handle it if either of them needed a doctor, but I try not to dwell on it. As Sini says, worrying about something that might happen makes about as much sense as eating when you're not hungry or trying to sleep when you're not tired.
I was talking about babies, though, wasn't I? Skyla was born at home because having babies at home is the normal Erisan way. It's not that Eris doesn't have advanced medical science. Sini assures me that Erisan medicine makes Earth medicine look primitive by comparison, but Erisans don't view pregnancy as a condition requiring medical treatment, even if they happen to be as ill as Sini was the first time. She seemed convinced that she'd be fine, even if I didn't believe it at times. After all was said and done, she was absolutely right.
Another reason Erisan babies are almost always born at home is that, for Erisans, birth is considered an intimate experience not to be shared with anyone except the mother's loved ones. Sini says the only instances in which an Erisan baby would not be born at home would be in the case of an illness, complication or emergency that endangered the life of the mother or the child.
Sini told me that she was present to welcome each one of her younger siblings. Sini's parents are a trio, like Pax's parents, except that her family has two mothers instead of two dads. Between Sini's biological mother and her other mother - her body mother and her soul mother as she refers to them - they have nine children. Sini's brother Kiro is the oldest. She also has a younger sister and six half-siblings. When I did the math, I realized that if all the siblings and all three parents had attended the birth of the final child, there would've been eleven people there when he arrived. Twelve, if you counted the newborn himself. My mind was blown by the idea of that.
I was the only other person present at Skyla's birth, which was a situation that quite honestly scared the hell out of me. Sapphire and Rommie came in and helped us right afterwards, but Sini insisted that she didn't want anyone but me with her until Skyla was actually born. When the new baby comes, Pax and Skyla will be with Sini too, but I'll still be the only adult there. Believe me when I say that it already frightens me beyond description.
I have no clue what I would've done if anything had gone wrong when Skyla was born. Fortunately, nothing did. One thing we had going in our favour was that Sini was very composed and seemed to know exactly what to do. She told me that it's instinctual and that nearly all Erisan mothers are perfectly capable of bringing their children into the world with minimal assistance. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that she was the one who kept telling me everything would be fine. I can only hope things go as uneventfully for us this time around.
Sini was horrified by the idea of the midwife being present at Lucy's birth. She thought it was shocking even to consider allowing a person unrelated to the mother be there. In fact, the whole situation really upset her, and I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I went so far as to say she thought it was sacrilegious.
It was about three o'clock when I got home from campus yesterday afternoon. Sini met me at the door and immediately told me what was going on. Some strange woman had arrived about an hour before I got home, she told me. She said she'd asked Xander who the woman was and why she was there, and Xander had explained that the woman is a midwife and she was there because Rommie needed her. It was obvious to me that Sini was unsettled by the woman's presence. Even though she knew Lucy was going to be born at home, I don't think it ever occurred to her that Rommie would need professional support.
Sini wanted to talk about it, and I barely had time to set my backpack down and put my cane on its special hook by the door before she slid an arm around me and started walking us toward the living room. I sat on the couch. She situated herself next to me, but she didn't cuddle up close like she usually does. That was enough of a signal for me to know how disquieted she was. When she's thinking hard about something, she doesn't like to be touched.
"I do not understand," she said to me, her distress clear in her voice, "how anyone could want a stranger to witness the birth of her child. It is not right. No one outside the family should share such a thing. It is not theirs to be shared."
"The midwife isn't there to witness it," I said. "She's there to help."
"Why?"
"Because Rommie can't handle it by herself like you can."
"When Skyla came, I did not do anything by myself. You were there."
"Yeah, but you did all the hard work."
"Mothers always do the hardest work," Sini said. "That is the way of things, but I do not understand how this stranger could help. Would it not be better for Michael to be with her?"
"Think about that for a second," I said. "Can you seriously picture Michael being the only other person in there? I don't think that'd be a very good situation, do you?"
After a moment's consideration, she said, "No, perhaps not."
"So, you see why the midwife is here."
"I suppose, but is still an unpleasant idea to me, letting a stranger do what a partner should do."
"I think the midwife is going to do a lot more for Rommie than I did for you."
"You do not know what you did for me, do you?"
"I'm pretty sure it wasn't as much as I should have done," I said.
"It was more than you realize, I think," she said. "You love me and give me strength. That is more than any stranger could do."
"It's not very practical, though."
"Doing something for someone is not always about actions. As you say, I did all the hard work, but you stayed with me and helped me be calm. I know many people who would not have been able to do that." She reached for my hand. "I am very lucky to have you. You are strong and you have enough courage to accept my ways even if you are sometimes afraid and do not always understand."
"I could say the same," I said. "You've accepted a lot of our ways without really understanding them."
"Yes," she said. "But, there is one thing I will never accept, whether I come to understand it or not. I do not want this stranger...this midwife to be there when our child comes."
"That's okay," I said. "If you don't need her, there's no reason for her to be there."
"I do not want her. I could never accept such a violation of our spiritual experience."
"You feel that strongly about it?"
"Promise me, Tyler," she said, and her fingers closed so tightly around mine that it left little doubt in my mind just exactly how strong her feelings on the subject were. "Promise there will be no strangers when our new baby comes."
"I promise," I said.
"The first hands to touch her will be yours and mine."
"Yes, just our hands. No strangers," I assured her. Then, with a jolt of surprise, I realized what she'd said. "Her?"
"Or him," Sini said.
"Are we having a girl?"
"Do you want to know?"
"You can't just leave me hanging," I said.
"Before Skyla came, you had very noble ideas about how it did not matter whether our child was a girl or a boy."
"It still doesn't," I said. "You know I already love our child, no matter what, but you can't just drop a hint like that and then not tell me for sure."
"Perhaps you should guess," she said.
She was still holding my hand, although her grip on it had eased, and she guided it so that my palm rested against her belly. I have to say, I'm amazed at how much of a bump has developed there over the last couple of weeks. It seems that in almost no time at all, her belly has gone from practically flat to decidedly curved. It's hardly what I'd call a prominent bump yet, but I'm sure it's enough to be noticeable when people look at her, especially with her tendency to wear form-fitting clothes.
I gently patted the spot where she'd placed my hand. "If I had your sixth sense, maybe I'd already know."
"But you do not have it, so you must guess."
"I think you like making me guess things," I said.
"You have a very good chance of being right."
"About fifty-fifty, I'd say."
"Well?"
"Girl," I said.
Sini laughed her musical laugh. "You want it to be a girl!" she said, apparently delighted to have discovered was I was thinking. "To me, you are practically broadcasting anticipation. You can say that it does not matter, but now I know."
"Am I right? Is it a girl?"
"Will you be disappointed if it is a boy?"
"You know I won't," I said. "I hope you can feel that, too."
"I can," she said. "Before I tell you if you are right, are you absolutely certain you want to know?"
I considered it for a minute, since she was giving me the chance. In hindsight, I'm glad I did think it over. Anticipation is half the fun in waiting for a surprise, and my 'noble ideas' about it not making one bit of difference whether we're having a boy or a girl still hold true.
"You know what? Don't tell me. If I don't know, I can still daydream for a while about having another beautiful girl," I said, and then added playfully. "Our little Scarlett."
"Banana," she said.
I tried not to laugh, honestly, but my effort was in vain. I said, "We'll have to decide on a name eventually, you know."
"I know," she said. "But not today. I would like to daydream for a while longer, too."
"Fair enough," I said. "There's one thing I really want you to tell me about the baby, though."
"What is it?"
"It is just one baby, right? We're not having twins?"
"No," she said. "We are not having twins."
"Oh good," I said, relieved. Then, realizing how that might've sounded, I hastened to add, "Not that I wouldn't have been happy if we were having twins. I mean, that'd be all right, but it'd be pretty crazy, and...well...you know."
Sini giggled. "You are so funny."
"I'm not trying to be funny."
"If it makes you feel better, I am also glad we are not having twins," she said. "Twins are so rare among my people that it is always a case where a mother needs medical attention. If we were having twins, that might be...problematic."
I had to agree with her about that. Twins would indeed be problematic, and more difficult circumstances are the last thing we need. Knowing that we wouldn't have to be concerned about the myriad complications twins would bring to our lives lifted a burden of worry from my mind that I hadn't even fully realized I was carrying. I'm sure that if we were having twins we'd find a way to manage somehow, but I'm much more confident in our ability to cope with a single new addition.
Sini seemed to feel better after our talk, and I'll confess that I did too. I'm really glad that Sini and I can talk to each other about anything. The conversations we have aren't always easy or pleasant ones, but the important thing is that we are having them. Sometimes I feel bad for couples who don't communicate the way Sini and I do. I think that not being able to tell your partner how you feel or not being able to ask a question for fear your partner will judge you must create a lot of anxiety and frustration. Relationships are complex enough when there aren't any communication difficulties. I can't imagine adding that extra layer of stress of not being able to talk to your partner when you need to.
Sini and I decided that we felt a little awkward about hanging around the house, given what was happening upstairs. We were in the mood for some fresh air and sunshine anyway, so we rounded up Pax and Skyla and headed for the park. As things turned out, our trip to the park was a fortuitous event. We encountered some of Pax's friends who'd just gotten home from school and were starting up an informal soccer game, so Pax hurried off to play with them. We were only too happy to see him running around with his friends. He was pretty excited about Lucy's imminent arrival, and we figured everyone would benefit if he burned off some energy.
While the kids played soccer, Sini and I chatted with our neighbour, Priya, who was there with her daughter, Rajani. Priya does something with computer programming and she works from home, so she's always around when Rajani gets out of school. We often see them at the park.
When the soccer game eventually wound down, Priya invited us to come and have supper with her and Rajani, and we agreed. Pax and Sini both love the things Priya cooks. The spices don't agree with me, but I never complain about it. Anyway, by the time we'd finished supper, socialized a bit and helped Priya clean up her kitchen, it was early evening. When we finally made our way back to our house, we were met at the door by an exuberant Cassie who informed us that our household had grown by one.
Sini and I didn't get to meet Lucy until this afternoon. Everyone was respectful of Rommie's privacy and her need to rest, so we all left her and Michael and Lucy to themselves last night. Rommie was up and around for a little while today, though, so we were able to be properly introduced to our newest family member.
This evening, I got to hold my niece for the first time. Lucy is absolutely beautiful in my opinion. She's quite chubby for a newborn and she has the tiniest, most perfect little hands. When I touched her palm with my fingertip, she curled her little hand around my finger.
Rommie said I looked more comfortable holding Lucy than Michael does. I wasn't surprised by that, although I'd never say so out loud. I'll bet even Xander looks more comfortable with Lucy in his arms than Michael does.
I wonder if my brother will ever settle into parenthood, and I worry that his lack of enthusiasm for the role will eventually be the undoing of his and Rommie's relationship. Sini thinks I'm overreacting. She says Michael is just nervous about being a new father. Nervous he may be, but that shouldn't stop him from connecting with his kids. I was nervous with Skyla for a little while too, but I loved her and helped take care of her from the very first moments of her life.
Whenever I compare myself with Michael like this, Sini is fond of reminding me that my brother and I are two very different people, and the way I think and feel and react isn't going to be the same as Michael's way. I have to concede that point to her. Michael and I are different. Neither of us are perfect and we certainly don't have all the answers, but I think there are a few things I know that my brother doesn't. I think Michael still has a lot to learn about people and relationships, about compassion and unconditional acceptance. He has a lot to learn about love.
Sini says no one can truly learn about all those things until they're ready, and I guess she's right about that. I just wish Michael would be ready to open up his heart and mind enough to start learning it soon.
Maybe Lucy will be the key that unlocks him. We can only hope.
I guess an appropriate way to end this post is with a photo of my brother's family. Sapphire likes the adage that a picture is worth a thousand words, so here are a thousand words for you. I'll let you decide what those thousand words might say.
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