Tales Of A One-Armed Blind Man

I always seem to start these things by telling you that I've got good news and bad news.  Let me start with the really good news this time.  Sini is on her way home!   I got so excited about that particular bit of news that I think I've told everyone in the house at least five times.  I can hardly wait until she's home again.   Of course, the bad news is that I'm going to have to explain to her about how I broke my arm.  I don't imagine that'll go over very well, although I'm hoping she'll be so happy to see me and Skyla that she won't be too hard on me for my stupid, logic-defying stunt.  One of the nice things about Sini, though, is that she never stays mad at me for very long, and when she wants to make up, she really means it.  Lots and lots of cuddles?  Yes, please. 

The other news is that Remi is supposed to be here sometime next week.  Xander is pretty stoked about that.  He and Remi have lots of plans for things they want to do when Remi gets here.  It sounds to me like they're not going to be here much during the first week or so of Remi's visit.

And in yet more news, we now know that Rommie and Michael are having a girl.   At first they didn't want to find out the baby's gender but, evidently, Rommie changed her mind.  I find it interesting how some parents want to know the baby's gender before he or she is born while other parents don't. Before Skyla was born, I was of the opinion that it didn't matter if I knew. I'd be happy with our baby regardless of whether it was a girl or a boy.  Sini says she knew we were having a girl because, like all Erisan mothers, she had a psychic connection with our unborn child.  When she asked if I wanted her to tell me, I said no.  Sini thought it was strange that I wasn't curious about it.  I assured her that I was indeed very curious, but knowing wouldn't make any difference in terms of how I felt about the new life we'd made together, so I was content just to wait and see. 

With Michael, I think it's a different story.  It's not so much that he's content to wait and see, but more like he doesn't particularly care.  It's actually a little frightening to me, thinking about how uninvolved he is with this baby. In a way very typical of him, he informed Rommie that he couldn't go with her to her doctor's appointment earlier this week because they couldn't afford for him to take the morning off work.   Smooth move, Michael.   Seriously, these two have issues they really need to work out before it's too late. 

Xander and Cassie didn't want their sister to go to her appointment alone, so they decided they'd go with her.   They took Cleo and Jack with them too, which I was grateful for, because with Sini away, Radek off somewhere with his friends, and everyone else at work, I was the only responsible person left in the house.  The only one awake, at least.   Hunter was at home but she sleeps half the day and she isn't good with kids in any case.   I can manage with just Pax and Skyla, but I don't think I would've been able to handle Pax plus three little ones without help, even if I did have the use of both arms.  It was Cassie's idea to bring her little niece and nephew along.  She told her sister that she thought it'd be a lot of work for me to take care of them all by myself.  I thought that was very mature and considerate of her.

As a matter of fact, nearly everyone's been pretty considerate of my needs lately, and maybe even too considerate in some cases.  Since I got out of the hospital, nearly everybody has been waiting on me hand and foot.  It was kind of nice for the first several days when the painkillers were making me feel like crap and I was spending most of the day either lying in my bed or lying on the couch, but now that I'm up and around, everybody's solicitousness is getting kind of old.  I don't mind if somebody wants to help me pour a glass of milk or something, since that's a little tricky with just one hand, but I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own glass of milk to the dining room.   I can also go out onto the deck by myself, turn on the radio by myself and, despite both Beau's and Dylan's insistence to the contrary, go up and down the stairs by myself.  

The only people around here who aren't treating me like I'm made of glass are Xander and Rommie.  Of course, it's nothing less than I expected of Xander.  I'd think something was wrong if he didn't avail himself of every opportunity to give me a hard time about falling out of that tree.   Xander is acting pretty normal around me, actually, which is refreshing.   I wish everybody else would take the hint.

Rommie has her own way of handling me and my broken arm. She isn't being unreasonable and I know she's aware of what I can and can't do, but her general strategy seems to be that she's simply ignoring the fact that I'm in pain.  My arm still hurts and it's probably going to for a while, but the discomfort is bearable without prescription drugs now.   I'm down to over-the-counter stuff during the day and I only take the good stuff at night to help me sleep.  Rommie says she's pretty sure I'm not supposed to be doing it that way, but I don't care.    The prescription medication was making me feel horrible and I didn't like it.  I'd rather suffer a little pain in my arm than be messed up like that, thank you very much.

Anyway, because I'm at home with her all day,  Rommie has conscripted me into the role of her personal assistant.  I've become the official fetch-and-carry guy, as long as the object in question can be carried in one hand.   Rommie expects me to do as much as I'm able, to help her around the house.  She had me dusting furniture this morning, and yesterday I somehow found myself in the back yard taking laundry off the clothes line.    It's hard to take clothes off the line with just one hand, and I couldn't fold them or carry the laundry basket inside.  I lost a few clothes pegs but, fortunately, I didn't drop anyone's clothes. 

Today after lunch, Pax and I helped Rommie make strawberry jam.   I think Pax was probably more helpful than I was, since my only job was to stand at the stove with a wooden spoon and "stir constantly, Tyler.  If you don't keep stirring, it'll burn onto the bottom of the pot."

I'll remember that.  If I should ever be so unfortunate as to be drafted into making jam again, that information could be vital.

Pax's job was a lot more interesting.  He was helping to clean the berries, which included plucking all the leaves off and then rinsing the berries in our big stainless steel colander.   Pax wanted to know why we were throwing away the green parts, and Rommie told him that he should taste some of the leaves and figure out the answer for himself.

 Rommie knows that Erisans are evolved vegetarians - there's no such thing as a meat-eating native of Eris - but I'm not sure if she fully comprehends that Erisan tastes run a little differently than ours.   Pretty much all non-toxic plant matter is on the menu as far as Erisans are concerned.  I've had to remind Sini on more than one occasion that it's not proper to pick and eat flowers from people's front gardens when we're out for a walk, and Pax caused a minor incident several weeks ago when we were visiting a neighbour and he helped himself to one of her houseplants.  Sini eats the entire orange, peel and all, and I've also known her to do the same with lime and grapefruit.   She says the peel is the best part.   Skyla likes orange peel too, and will happily nibble on small pieces that Sini cuts up for her. 

Pax did indeed taste the strawberry leaves.  I think Rommie was a little shocked, because she exclaimed, "Pax!  I didn't really mean for you to eat them!"

"Why?" Pax said.  "Green parts taste good.  Why humans not eat them?"

"Because the green part is leaves.  Humans don't eat leaves."

"Spinach is leaves," Pax pointed out.  "Humans eat spinach."

"He's got a point, you know," I said.  "Lettuce is leaves too, and we eat that.  We eat mint and dill, and those are leaves.  Cabbage is leaves, I think."

"Nobody asked you," Rommie said.

She's been moody lately, so I chose to overlook her testiness.  I said to Pax, "Humans don't eat the leaves from strawberry plants because they don't taste good to us.  You know how you and Sini don't like cheese?  It's the same for us with strawberry leaves.  We could eat them if we wanted to, and they wouldn't hurt us, but we don't think the flavour is very nice."

"I understand," Pax said.  "Can I eat all the leaves?"

"If you want to," I said.

"Cool!" Pax said.

"Take them off the strawberries, first," Rommie said, and there was unmistakeable scolding in her tone.

"I like strawberries, too."

Rommie sighed noisily and grumbled,  "I don't know why I asked the two of you to help."

"Because you thought we had nothing better to do?" I said.

"Because we are helpful," Pax said.

"You're a nuisance," Rommie said.  "Both of you, get out of my kitchen."

"But I thought I was supposed to stir constantly," I said.

Rommie stomped across the floor and took the wooden spoon from me.  "Go," she said. "I'll do it."

"Fine, if you insist."

"I do."

So, that was the end of my jam-making experience.  To be honest, I wasn't really all that upset about being banished from the kitchen.  The heat was starting to bother me and, inside my cast, my arm was sweating and itching horribly.   I was glad for the chance to go to my room, turn on the fan, take off my shirt and not move for a while. 

I figured it was just about time for Skyla's nap, too.  She, Jack and Cleo had been playing in the hallway just outside the kitchen door where I could hear them and Rommie could see them but where they wouldn't be underfoot.   Skyla was starting to whine, and I guessed maybe the heat was bothering her as well.   I asked Pax to carry Skyla and come upstairs with me.  Pax likes it when he's allowed to pick Skyla up.  He takes his 'big brother' responsibilities very seriously and is really careful and gentle with her. 

Upstairs in our room, I asked Pax to put Skyla down on the bed with me instead of in her crib.   Sini and I haven't made a habit of letting Skyla sleep in our bed, but  lately it's been easier to settle her in bed with me than to try to get her in and out of her crib safely with just one arm.   Skyla loves it, of course.    Mommy may be away, but there's all this unexpected snuggling with Daddy.   When Sini gets back, we may have a battle on our hands convincing Skyla to sleep in her crib again, but I'll worry about that when the time comes.

Pax decided to stay in the room with us.   As Skyla and I settled down for our nap, i listened to him playing with his toys and chattering away in Erisan to his imaginary friend Ki.   I wish I could've understood what he was saying.   I can pick out a few Erisan words, but mostly it just sounds like jumbled up sounds to me; musical sounds, but nonsensical nevertheless.  I'm probably missing lots of cute and amusing things, not being able to comprehend these make-believe conversations between Pax and his invisible friend.   Maybe I should ask Sini to start teaching me her language.  She and Pax have learned mine, after all.

I was nearly asleep, lulled by the whirring of the fan and the curious cadence of Pax's voice, when I caught the sound of footsteps in the hallway.   There was a perfunctory knock on the door, and then I heard, "Tyler?"

"Hmmm...?" I mumbled.

"What are you doing?" Rommie asked as she stepped into the room.

"Sleeping," I said.

"Can you do something for me?"

I opened my eyes and struggled toward some semblance of alertness.  "What?"

"Would you mind running an errand for me?"

"I thought you didn't want me to help you."

"Not in the kitchen," she said.  "I want you to go to the supermarket."

"No," I said, not uncharitably. "I'm not going to the supermarket.  Skyla and I are resting."

"Skyla might be resting, but you're being lazy," she said. "I just want you to get a few things.  It'll only take you half an hour, at most.  I'll watch Skyla."

"Rommie," I said. "How am I supposed to go shopping without a free hand to carry stuff?"

"You've got a free hand."

"Which one would that be?  The one that's encased in plaster or the one that's going to be holding my cane?"

I know that was sarcastic, but I honestly couldn't believe Rommie thought I'd be able to accomplish this proposed trip to the supermarket by myself.   The only way I'd have a free hand is if I wasn't using my cane, and there was no way that would ever happen.  I mean, it's fine inside the house where I don't actually need my cane to help me get around, but walking the three blocks to our local grocery store is a completely different story.  I know the route well enough, but I don't think I'd make it to the corner of our street without my cane.   I'd be too scared of bumping into an overturned trash bin or an illegally parked car or, worse yet, catching my foot in a crack in the sidewalk and falling on my face on the concrete. 

"You can take your backpack," Rommie said.  "When you get there, Beau or Dylan can help you."

"Right, because I'm sure their managers would really appreciate them leaving their work to help me find and carry stuff that you probably don't even need."

Dylan has been working as a cashier at the supermarket since January, which he hates, but at least it helps pay the bills.  Beau, on the other hand, really seems to enjoy being a supermarket employee.  He just started working there about a month ago and his job is in the meat department. Rommie should've known that neither Beau nor Dylan could leave his work to run her errands.  She wasn't about to give up easily, though.

"Well...you can ask one of the people at Customer Service to help you, then.  That's what you usually do, isn't it?"

"I don't see why you can't just go there yourself," I said.

"Because it's too hot," she said.

"And it's not too hot for you in the kitchen?"

"That's different."

From down on the floor where he'd been playing, Pax piped up, "I go to the store."

"Not by yourself," I said.

"I already go by myself.  Sini say okay."

"Sini let you go three blocks by yourself?  She...no, never mind." I sighed as I realized it'd be utterly useless at that point to raise a protest about something Sini had let Pax do, especially since she wasn't even there to explain herself.  I sat up. "Okay, Rommie, you win.  I'll go shopping for you, and Pax can come along to help me find things." 

"Can I have treats?" Pax asked.

"Sure," I said. "Why not?"

"Here's my list," Rommie said, and pressed a piece of paper into my hand.

"Rommie!  How am I supposed to--"

"I read," Pax offered.  He bounced onto the bed and snatched the list. "It say butter and....I not know this word, or this word...and carrots...and other words I not know."

"Great," I said.

"I spell," Pax suggested, undeterred. "M-i-l-k."

"Milk."

"We not buy that, okay?" Pax said. "What spells b-r-e-a-d?"

"Bread," I told him.  "And we're buying milk, even if you don't like it."

"I buy apple juice," he decided. "S-u-g-a-r?"

"Sugar."

"We buy lots and lots of that."

"You'll figure it out," said Rommie. "Pax, you can help carry the shopping bags, can't you?  And make sure you hold Tyler's hand when you cross the street, okay?"

'That silly," Pax scoffed. "Tyler big.  He cross the street by himself."

Despite the mood in the room, I couldn't help laughing at that.  "I don't think she's worried about me crossing the street by myself, Pax."

"I cross the street by myself too.  I look both ways," he said, and added proudly, "I learn that from TV.  I watch Sesame Street." 

Thank you, children's educational programming, for teaching my adopted alien son about sidewalk safety.

Pax did not hold my hand on the way to the grocery store.  He skipped along beside me, singing songs that I presume he also learned from Sesame Street.  When we got to the corner, he announced that he was looking both ways and told me when the cars had stopped.  Our walk to the store was remarkably uneventful.  It was the time we spent inside the store that I hadn't been fully prepared for. 

I made my usual first stop at Customer Service, just to say hi to the ladies who work there.  I'm on a first-name basis with all of them.  The fact of which I was utterly unaware, but which I quickly discovered, was that Pax is on a first-name basis with them, too.

As we approached the counter, Pax made an excited little chirping noise and called out, "Hi, Melissa!"

Melissa is my favourite Customer Service lady.  She always seems cheerful and she loves to talk.  We have great conversations when she helps me do my shopping.  She has a huge crush on my cousin Dylan, and she always makes a point of taking me through Dylan's cash line.  Her excuse is that she's facilitating a nice little meeting between me and my cousin, but I know her real motive is so she can chat with him.

"Hello, Pax," Melissa said.  "Hey, Tyler.  I guess you've brought your own helper today, huh?"

"I guess so," I said.  "You and Pax know each other, I guess."

"Pax is hard to forget," Melissa said.

"I unforgettable," Pax confirmed.  "Melissa has candy today?"

"Pax!" I scolded, but Melissa was laughing.

"I have peppermints," she said. "Do you want one, Pax?"

"Yes, please," he said.  "Guess what, Melissa?  I have a list." 

"A shopping list?"

"Yes.  I help Tyler buy important stuff, and milk, but that not important."   

Melissa was still laughing as she gave Pax his peppermint and wished us luck in making our 'important' purchases.   Pax scurried off to get a cart, which I decided he was responsible enough to push around on his own.  When he rejoined me I asked him, "How often does Sini let you come here by yourself, Pax?"

"When I want treats," he said.

"Yeah, but how often is that?" 

"I not know.   Sometimes I want lots of treats.   Sini give me money and she say be careful and look both ways when I cross the street.  I buy apple juice and noodles and then I go home."

"Does Melissa always give you candy?"

"Sometimes peppermints and sometimes jellybeans."

"I see," I said.

Pax giggled at that and said, "No."

I sighed.  I decided that I'd definitely have to talk with Sini about this.   Until that moment, I had no idea that Pax was out wandering around the neighbourhood by himself.   Sini and I may be in agreement about how to parent Skyla but, apparently, our views on how to parent our other child are quite different.   If I'd known about Pax's solo trips to the store, I might've raised a strong objection to it.

Shopping with Pax was an adventure, I must say, but it didn't exactly match the scenario I'd envisioned.   I imagined the presence of an overexcited alien in the supermarket might've drawn a huge amount of attention, but not once did I hear anyone say a word about Pax.  I wouldn't have been surprised if we'd encountered someone exclaiming, 'Look...it's a green boy with pointed ears!" but I never heard anything like that.  What I did hear were plenty of comments about me.  While Pax and I were selecting vegetables, a couple of older ladies were chatting nearby and one of them said something like, "Oh, my!  Just look at that poor boy!  He must've been in a terrible accident!" and her friend replied that I must be very brave to be out shopping in my obviously fragile condition.

It definitely took fortitude to go shopping, but not because I'm blind or because my arm is in a cast.  The real test of inner strength was trying not to lose my patience with Pax for constantly begging me to let him buy ice cream, gum and instant noodles or for running off and leaving me whenever something caught his eye.  Add to that the nagging pain in my arm and the frustration of not being able to read Rommie's list without Pax's help, and I needed plenty of courage indeed.

When it came to overheard conversations, though, the piece de resistance wasn't the sympathetic chatter of the little old ladies in the produce section. The best line of the day came from some young guy in the frozen foods section who was presumably talking to his friend.  "Dude, check it out!  A one-armed blind man!"

I've got to ask what the world is coming to.  I go shopping with an alien, but I'm the center of attention?  Of course, maybe one-armed blind men are even more rare than aliens in this neighbouhood.

O brave new world, that has such people in it!